"For more than twenty years now the war between two powerful houses; House of Azaran the wielder of Fire and House of Eiran the wielder of Ice-finally came to an end."
Her head limply leaned into his chest making him turn his gaze at her as they roc...
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It's over.
That's what she had told him. And the look on his eyes kept haunting her. She hugged her knees closer and suddenly the bed felt bigger. He'd left. But only because she told—pushed—him to do so.
The pain had driven her to the point where she felt there was nothing else left to do. She just wanted the pain to stop. But it didn't and it hurt so much more instead. It pierced her like a sharp blade and she was left bleeding.
Lisa heaved another deep sigh though it didn't ease her heavy heart. For the past hour her mind struggled with realizations. Her marriage, though it was forced and unwanted in the beginning, had blossomed into something beautiful. Jake had become a part of her, that when she saw the betrayal right before her eyes, it felt as if a part of her was ripped away from her in a way that was so unreal and so unfair, that she didn't even know how to react to it—until she did.
And she realized, she never really gave him a chance to explain—not until her emotions took over. She had said hurtful things to him, she questioned his loyalty to his kingdom. The man who bled for his kingdom. The man who rode the night to find her—to save her. The man who waged war so he could end her nightmare. And she'd compared him to the man he saved her from. She regretted that.
His words kept echoing in her head.
'I saw your face...I saw you.'
What kind of fool would she be if she believed his reason? But then when he... when he looked at her in the eyes and said those words... A part of her wanted to believe him, but the greater part of her was afraid to.
Perhaps she was a fool for wanting to believe it and a coward at the same time for not trying to believe it. She felt so wounded that even if they do start over, the shadow of the betrayal would just haunt and shred them apart—whatever's left of them. They would just end up doing or saying things that would hurt the other. And she was most afraid of that.
Lisa run a hand on her face. "I'm a mess."
And truly she was, for she had pushed him out of her life and yet... and yet she couldn't stop looking at the door he walked out from. Waiting for him to walk back in, but every time she looked—he wasn't there.
She scooted onto the other side—his side—of the bed, smoothing her palms against it as if she'd feel him instead of the silky sheet. The smell of citrus and sea filled her nose and it felt as if he was with her.
She had known for a while, the reason why it hurt her this much.
Maybe it started that morning she woke up holding his hands close to her because she couldn't get herself to let go of its comfort. The comfort he gave her during those nightmares that hunted her.
Or maybe it was that time he asked if she wanted to see that flower fields with him and all she thought of was 'definitely yes', not just because of the scenery that awaits her, but the thought of seeing it with him. She had ignored the echo in her chest then, it wasn't heard but it was felt—and she never did forget that feeling.
