Hermitcraft Stuff - S6 Oneshots

Christmas Cooking || CtC 21

(Word count: 400

A lot of you guys wanted the Architects cooking show I mentioned in my Christmas Baking chapter so here *throws this at you*. This one is less chaotic than the first, though.

Sorry if it sounds a bit rushed, it's 11PM as I'm writing this on the 21st. It's probably already the 22nd for some of you, but I love this concept so I have to get it out.)

"Hello, everyone, and welcome to Cooking With The Architects!"

"Nope. Nope. You have to draw out the to. Like this. Toooooo..."

"I'm not refilming this again."

"Sorry, I couldn't hear you. Take fifty-six."

Grian groaned slightly under his breath and silently cursed Mumbo for being a perfectionist about this kind of stuff. First, it was the lighting. Then, it was the backdrop. Now, the mustached man was being a nitpicker about the script. "Why did I agree to do this, again?"

"It's good advertising for Sahara," Iskall said from nearby. "Especially with the holidays rolling up! Christmas cooking!"

"You haven't had to say the same nine words over and over again for the last hour," Grian said, adjusting the bright yellow apron he had to wear. "Can we get on with the cooking now? Sometime before Christmas passes?"

The Architect trio was reusing Grian's old Sahara News room for the cooking show. Christmas lights were obnoxiously draped over every possible block. There were wires everywhere, connecting to various lights, cameras, and cooking equipment. The cooking area wasn't even that big--it was all of the necessities you needed for cooking but lacked luxury. 

"You do realize I don't know how to cook, right? At least, not well?" Grian asked. "The last time I tried to make pancakes, they tasted like sourdough."

"It's fine," Mumbo waved his hand dismissively. "I'm sure you won't burn Sahara down."

"I'm gonna burn Sahara down."

"I mean, we never really used this room anyway--"

"Iskall, NO."

Grian groaned audibly. "Can we just get on with the cooking?"

"Okay, okay!" Mumbo threw his hands up in surrender and positioned his camera. "And...action!"

----------

"I never should have trusted you."

"Lesson of a lifetime. I told you I couldn't cook."

"How does not cooking lead up to the ingredients exploding onto the walls!?"

Three hours later, and the video was done. The Architects probably had no intention of publishing it now, because of what happened with the dish.

Well...what was remaining of the dish.

The Sahara News room was covered in various ingredients Grian had been working with. Carrots were pasted to the walls with honey. Potatoes mixed with salmon, which didn't look too appetizing. Mumbo moaned over his recording equipment being dirty. When the ingredients somehow exploded, Iskall had taken a face full of it. Grian himself was covered in the mush he called "a dish worthy at any Christmas dinner", according to the script. 

"We are never trying this again, do you hear me?"

"Aye aye, captain."