Avengers High School

May the Best Man Win (Round 1)

[Clint calls all the guys into his room Sunday afternoon and they come in, confused]

Clint: (Shuts his door) Take a seat, please.

(They all sit down on the floor)

Tony: May I ask what this is for-

Clint: Shut up and I'll explain it.

(Tony frowns)

Clint: Ahem... I have called all of you in here because I have recently been discovering something.

Thor: I have not eaten all of your sour cream and onion potato chips, if that is what you are thinking, Agent Barton! (bites lip)

Clint: Well... that's not what I was going to say, but thank you for bringing that to my attention. Anyway, back to what I was saying. What's come to my attention is that the four of us like Natasha...

Steve: Oh lordy. Here we go again.

Clint: (Squints at Steve, then looks back at all of them) Now, to be honest, I think that is uncanny, because obviously she needs to be with me. I mean, c'mon, which sounds more realistic, the playboy and the spy, the soldier and the spy, the doctor and the spy, or the spy and the spy?

Bruce: The doctor and the spy.

Steve: The soldier and the spy.

Tony: The playboy and the spy.

Loki: The soldier and the spy.

(Clint frowns at Loki)

Loki: (Shrugs) Hey, opposites attract supposedly. And you could have helped yourself out by saying The Archer and the Spy, because that sounds way cooler than The Spy and the Spy. Just saying...

Clint: Okay... we obviously have different opinions. But, that's not the important thing. The important thing is who can win her first.

Steve: Wouldn't the most important thing be who she actually likes the most?

Clint: No! That's the second most important thing!

Tony: (Sighs and stands) Well, Barton, this was a fun, up-building speech, but I'm gonna go do something that I actually care about doing.

Clint: No, you're not. You're staying in here, so sit down!

Tony: (Furrows eyebrows) Uh, I'd like to know who gave you permission to be my mother, because last time I checked, you're not a woman and your name is not Maria Stark.

Clint: I'd like to know who gave you permission to take Natasha away from me, because last time I checked, you were in a committed relationship with a woman named Pepper Potts, so do as I say and sit. The heck. Down.

(Tony glares at him)

Clint: SIT!

Tony: Oh, I'll stay in here, but I will NOT sit down. I don't take orders from you.

Clint: (Rolls eyes and looks back at everybody) Guys, I have a plan.

Bruce: Which is?

Clint: We are going to try and impress Natasha.

Thor: Me and Loki are not included, correct?

Clint: Correct. Just Steve, Bruce, Tony, and I. But, you two can be our helpers.

Tony: So what is this, some kind of "may the best man win" type thing?

(Clint nods)

Steve: This is stupid. I'm not treating Natasha likes she's some kind of trophy.