Professor Cumberbatch

Part 22

I sat on the floor in front of the fireplace with Benedict, the two of us all wrapped up in blankets. It was our last night together before I went home for a few weeks for Christmas.

"I'm going to miss you so much while you're gone," he whispered, gently kissing my forehead.

"You keep saying that like I'm not coming back. It's only for a few weeks," I reminded him.

"Yes, but a few weeks without you will feel like eternity to me. I wish I could go with you." Benedict wrapped his arms around me and I reached up to hold them.

"I wish you could, too. It's just... How would my mum react to her oldest daughter being in a relationship with her professor?"

"I know," he sighed, squeezing me.

"No, I'm genuinely wondering how she would react. I've been thinking a lot lately about telling her. It's not right to keep this from her."

Benedict let go of me and sort of turned me around to face him. "Are you serious right now? There's no way we can tell your mum. She would be so angry, and you'd get disowned. And I'd probably be dead."

"But it's not right. She's my mum. We've been through so much in the past couple of years, and it breaks my heart to keep this relationship secret from her. I'm finally happy, and I want her to know that I'm in a good place."

Benedict shook his head. "Can't you just tell her that you have a boyfriend? Do you have to tell her that I'm your boyfriend?"

"If I tell her that I have a boyfriend, she's going to want to know who he is. And she won't stop until she finds out. She'll want to know who it is that's making me so happy."

Benedict looked away from me and sighed deeply, obviously with frustration. "Just don't tell her right now. Please. I'm not ready to deal with all that — the angry mother — just yet."

"And when will you be ready? After we're married? After we have our first child? When my mother is on her deathbed?" At this point, I was standing in front of Benedict, staring down at him. "It's already been a year and a half, Benedict. How much longer do I have to wait?"

He looked up at me with sad eyes, swallowing nervously. "Amelia, calm down a bit. I–"

"Don't tell me to calm down!" I suddenly yelled, interrupting him. "God!"

I stormed off to use the toilet, leaving Benedict alone in front of the fire. He just sat there and breathed deeply, staring into the flames.

It was a while before I came back, and I was much calmer then. "I'm sorry," I apologized to Benedict. "I shouldn't have yelled at you."

He opened his arms and motioned for me to come down to him. I did, snuggling up to him and sighing deeply when he wrapped his arms tightly around my body. "I shouldn't have told you to calm down. I understand why you want to tell your mother about us. I also need you to understand why I'm not ready for her to know."

"Tell me," I said softly.

"Your mother knows me because I was your professor. She invited me into her home when I helped you through a difficult time, not knowing what was happening between us. I can't have you just spring it on her that we're together. We have to work toward it. We have to prepare her for finding out. It would be too much of a shock for her to find out now, especially at Christmas. She would be so angry, and that anger would be taken out on us. Do you get it?"