"if only.." TordTom highschool au

•20•

"so, why'd you and Tord break up?" Tom asked as he closed his sketchbook and set it beside him, looking up at the dark haired boy on the bed who opened his mouth to say something but quickly closed it with a shrug.

"c'mon Edd! you can tell us! we won't judge!" the ginger said happily and Edd just waved his hand a bit with a soft, sad sigh. "it's not that, Matt. I actually have no idea why. he just texted me, 'sorry to tell you this through text but I think we should see other people.' and some other stuff I'd rather not say." Edd said a little quietly.

"damn, he broke up with you through text? that's messed up." Tom said, running a hand through his hair. he got a small nod from Edd who just seemed extra sad but like, who wouldn't be after their boyfriend broke up with them through text.

Tom got up, grabbed some Xbox remotes and handed them out, and sat in Matt's lap like a child. "let's play some games to get our minds off everything." Tom suggested, getting a nod from the two other males along with a small glare from Edd that he just shrugged off.

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a month past, Tom and Tord were fighting more and more. sometimes even throwing hands and saying some REALLY messed up stuff to each other.

Tom acted like non of it actually hurt but the poor boy was dying inside.

he was getting even more nightmares. he was talking to his monster even more. he was sometimes almost loosing arguments with this monster, leading to it trying to come out but tom was always able to stop it.

the thing he couldn't stop though we're the flowers that just kept coming. he was constantly going to the bathroom at school just to throw up red rose petals and small whole blue forget me not flowers.

these are forget me not flowers :3

he tried his hardest not to but things were getting worse. he often had to hide in the bathroom at home as he choked on the flowers, some of the flowers even having blood on them.

and not only does he get hate from Tord, he also gets a lot from Edd. he doesn't know what he did to Edd but he hates his guts.

they were never really close anyways so why does it matter?

Edd was only using him to get closer to Tord.

Tord was only using him for pleasure.

Matt's probably using him for free drawings of himself.

Pat and Pau are probably only using him for the money the court gives them for Tom.

everyone's just using him why should he care about people?

why is he even still here when he can just go?

he can just go if he wants.

so why is he still here?

well, because Tord won't let him leave.

Everytime Tom goes to try something, Tord pops up in his head.

Tord's keeping him alive.

Tord's keeping him from being happy.

but Tord's keeping him from being sad.

all the good memories with the red hoodie male makes Tom happier then happy. 

the thoughts about how whenever Tom's sad and Tord sits there cuddling him, his arms wrapped around the smaller waist while he gives his little Tommy soothing kisses on his neck and forehead and just all over.

the thoughts of Tords hands running through the smaller males hair.

the thoughts of Tord running his hands up and down Tom's sides gently.

these just made Tom so happy, they give Tom something to look forward to about living.

but now they're fighting and there's barely anymore of those good times, but when Tom gets them, he's the happiest person you'll ever meet.

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Tom woke up to his phone alarm going off. he pulled it out from under his pillow and turned it off with a small groan before realizing there was a heavy pair of arms wrapped around his waist.

he was confused at first before looking over and seeing Tord passed out next to him. he didn't know if he should be pissed or think this is adorable.

he sighed a heavy sigh and just cuddled into the bigger male, Tord immediately pulling Tom as close as possible to his chest and nuzzling into his hair with a small yawn.

"morning Tommy..." Tord said, his accent thick and his voice deep.

"mm.." was all Tom replied with while nuzzling into Tord's bare chest, earning a little soft kiss on his forehead that made him purr.

they stayed like this for awhile, Tord every now and then leaving some kisses on Tom.

Tom knew this kinda thing wasn't gonna last long, and he was right. a few minutes passed and Tom's phone started going off.

the small Brit grabbed it with a small huff and answered and to his joy, it was Matt.

"hey, Tom! they're doing a flower show at the park today! wanna come?" the tall ginger said.

"oh uh.." he looked at tord for a second. "sure, when?"

"around noon, meet me there!" and with that the ginger hung up and Tord say up, looking a little pissed.

Tom sat up as well and looked at Tord. "wanna come with?" he asked the taller male and only got a little shrug.

Tord got up, sighed, and went to his side of the room to get dressed for this stupid flower thing. he was only going for Tom though but he wouldn't admit it.

I'm sorry for such a late and short post :,) I had a lot of stuff going on but I hope you enjoy this! it'll probably be awhile before I update again.
and for the love of God can y'all stop buying all the toilet paper??? >:(
have fun though and stay safe from the Corona virus! my schools shut down for 2 weeks including our spring break but oh well.
I hope y'all have a nice day.
I'm sorry I don't have any art for this chapter but feel free to draw some and dm me and I'll add it in!!
{1033 words}
love you all, bye!