I'm so Sorry

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As I lay in bed I realize my true hatred for the car accident that killed my parents. They weren't supposed to die. At least not like that. I hate that they weren't at home. I hate that they died on a road. I hate that they died in a car. I hate that they died without saying goodbye. Maybe this hatred is a bit intense to some people, but I lost my mom. The person who loved me unconditionally. I lost my dad who loved me more than anyone could comprehend. Now I lay here wishing I could have them back. There is a hole in my heart that nobody could ever fill. Ateria was coming tomorrow. She knew about the accident and she had been really kind about it when we had been texting. I looked at the alarm clock that sat beside my bed and saw that it was 3:14 in the morning. I had been laying here for six hours. I decided to quietly get out of my room and walk to the music room. On the way to the music room I saw Sheervato asleep in the living room. Demi was on the couch an Ed was on the floor. They looked so sweet. They remind me of my parents. When I got to the music room I was instantly grateful that it was sound proof. I broke down in an instant. Why did this have to happen to me? Why did they have to leave me? Was it because I was a horrible child? The different possibilities were swirling around my mind. I did the only thing I could have thought of. I started to sing. "Don't let them in. Don't let them see. Be the good girl you've always had to be. Conceal. Don't feel. Put on a show. Make one wrong move and everyone will know..." I couldn't let anyone know how I feel. I wasn't allowed to be sad. I was the one that always had to be happy. Always had to be strong for someone else. I was always there for Demi and Maddie. I couldn't let them know how unhappy I felt. That's not who they want me to be. They expect me to be happy. I'm so sorry but there is no way I could ever be happy. Not anymore.

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