Chapter Twenty One- Christmas Debacles

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"What the hell is this?" Barton strode into the room, mouth agape as his eyes were assaulted by flashing fairy lights and glittering baubles. Peter froze where he stood, wreathed in tinsel, a gingerbread star wedged firmly on his mouth.

"Chrithmath," he announced, shaking the bell ridden tinsel for effect. Barton blinked.

"I hate math," he muttered, frowning at the teenager's confused expression. "What? Not all of us are Tony Stark protégées."

"He said Christmas, dumbass," Natasha's eye roll was almost audible as she rounded the tree, yet another string of fairy lights in tow. "Upgrade your hearing aids."

"Bite me."

"I'll leave that to your wife."

Choking cut off the friends' argument as Peter inhaled his gingerbread star. "Virgin ears!" He protested weakly. Natasha snorted.

"Cause we all believe you have virgin ears and complete innocence after shadowing Tony," she snarked. Peter stuck out his tongue, unwrapping the tinsel- unsuccessfully- and nearly tripping into the tree. Natasha and Clint both reached out to catch him. Natasha dashed forwards, stepping into a loop of tinsel still attached to the stumbling teenager. The tinsel pulled, knocking her off balance, reaching for Clint to steady herself. They fell in a flailing wave of limbs, the three superheroes tangled in both the tinsel and each other.

"I hate Christmas," Clint muttered. A glint from the corner of his eye caught his attention, his head whipping round in time to see the Christmas tree swaying dangerously. He froze. "Oh f-"

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The crash from the main room had Steve hurrying out of his own, pulling a T-shirt over his head. A thousand scenarios went through his head- Chitauri invasion, medical emergency, Civil War 2...

He wasn't expecting to see two deadly assassins and a teenage boy wrapped in tinsel, trapped under a Christmas tree.

"You idiot!" Clint was yelling. "I thought you were meant to be superhuman or something?"

"Don't shout at the kid, it's not his fault," Natasha reprimanded her friend, Parker's eyes widening in anger and betrayal.

"You told him?! It was a secret!" Natasha had the grace to look ashamed. "I trusted you." He turned his head away, lower lip wobbling, looking just as young as his fifteen years. Clint shifted uncomfortably, his eyes finally landing on his Captain.

"Steve!" he sounded relieved. "Help us! We're trapped!" Steve laughed, heading over to help, but a sudden thought struck him. He whipped out his phone and tapped the camera icon. A flash later, and the three trappees were spluttering in indignation and fury.

"You better delete that, or I swear to god-" A ping cut off Natasha's threat. Steve grinned, opening the picture message. He loved Christmas.

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"Why in nine hells is there a tree on the ship?" Loki was utterly befuddled.

"It's Christmas. You're a snowman; surely you know what it is," Quill retorted, throwing some tattered blue tinsel on the tree. Loki froze, face reddening in fury.

"I am not a snowman, you hairless ape. I am a Prince if Asgard, the rightful King of Jotunheim, I will not be spoken to like a-"

Stark glanced up as the god suddenly cut off; it wasn't like him to not finish a threat. The prince was frozen like a statue, on finger raised, his lips parted slightly as he was mid sentence. Rocket stood next to him, smirking, an empty syringe dangling loosely from his fingers.

"What did you do?" Stark asked, more out of curiosity than any real worry. The raccoon shrugged.

"It's just some kanama venom I've been playing around with. He'll be stuck like that for a few hours."

"Can he breathe?" Gamora seemed genuinely concerned. Rocket shrugged again, his nonchalant act offset by the way he quickly moved in and held a knife up to the god's face. The knife misted over, Loki's breath warming the metal. Gamora seemed satisfied, turning back to cleaning her weapons.

"You know, guys, the tree looks especially sad this year. Shame we don't have any alternative," Quill's eyes glittered with mischief. Rocket grinned.

"I see where you're going."

That's how two incredibly unusual photos ended up on the Shield interlink system. One of two assassins and a young teenager trapped underneath a Christmas tree. The second of a young Loki draped in tinsel, a Christmas star strapped to his head.

A/N: sorry this is late, guys. It's just a bit of Christmas fun for you. Stay tuned for the next chapter 🤟🏻

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