Saving Myself || A Drarry Story

XIII: Loss of Control

Harry paced in his dorm, his eyes feeling scratchy. He never liked people watching over him as if he were a child and he certainly didn't like the fact that Draco did it just now.

He hated it.

Harry tugged at his hair, his teeth clenched. "You're insane, " he muttered to himself. "Insane."

Maybe this was it. He was absolutely paranoid about the fact that his father would just swoop into Hogwarts and take him away as soon as possible. He was afraid, but he'd never let Malfoy, the Boy Who Cared, know anything about his emotions.

There was a tapping noise on his window and a wonderful eagle owl was outside his window, a sealed letter in its talons. Harry opened the window, letting the owl hop on his desk.

"Whose are you?" Harry asked it softly. "What have you got for me?"

The owl hooted importantly and held its foot out. Harry took the letter and opened it, frowning deeply.

H---
Please meet me in the GB2 at eleven.
---D

GB2? Harry wondered. What in the . . .second floor girls bathroom?

Harry crumbled up the note and sent the owl on its way with no reply. He tossed it behind his shoulder, taking the seemingly infinite number of desk sets out from under his bed.

He felt so . . .so mad. So malicious and irate. He threw the first one down as hard as he could. Draco doesn't really care.

Harry took out a few bottles of ink, hearing them smash and break. His chest hurt and he threw another to the floor, several more crashes. Draco doesn't even like you.

Tears rolled down Harry's face as he smashed a bottle of ink under his shoe, feeling the sticky ink under his shoe. Harry stomped on another desk set, every part of his body was starting to ache. Draco would never. The Boy Who Lived. He hates you.

Harry slid against the wall, sobbing and holding his arms across his chest as if he were trying to bind himself together again.

וווווווווווווו×

Draco leaned against the sink, his foot tapping impatiently. He looked at his watch and let out a breath. It was almost midnight and Harry still wasn't here.

He decided to go up to his dorm, hoping that Harry was dead. Draco walked briskly, anger bubbling up in his throat.

He made it up there, speaking the password and saying as he opened the door, "Harry, you'd better---woah."

Harry's dorm was a complete wreck, with desk sets and bottles of ink smashed, quills of all colours, shapes, and sizes littered the floor. He saw Harry huddled against the wall, his head in his arms.

Draco shut the door behind him as he stepped into the room, trying not to step into the puddles of ink.

"Harry?"

A bottle of ink exploded under his shoe and Harry lifted his head, but promptly lowered it when he saw that Draco was the one who caused the noise.

"Go away, " he mumbled into his arms. "I don't want you here."

Draco crouched down in front of the smaller boy, reaching his hand out and brushing Harry's hair back away from his face. "I've got something for you."

"Don't want it, " Harry muttered, smacking Draco's hand away from his head.

Draco frowned and added, "You'll like it."

Harry's head snapped up, a murderous glare in his dark, green eyes. "I already told you to leave." He stood, saying as he did, "I don't want you here."

"Why are you so angry?" Draco asked. "You were fine all week and now you're just---"

"I'm not angry, " huffed Harry.

"Well, you seem like it to me."

"Oh, what do you know, Malfoy?"

Draco tried to hug Harry, but he shoved him so forcefully that he fell, his hand getting sliced open by a shard of glass as Harry said in a strained voice, "My father will kill me. He hates me---"

"You just cut my hand with your stupid mess!" Draco cried out angrily. "And now you're just going on about yourself!"

"I'm sorry that I'm worried about my father!" Harry shouted. "But you of all people wouldn't understand that, would you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Draco asked as he stood up, picking glass off of his hand.

"I actually have a father to disappoint with this ridiculous game, " Harry said in a dangerously low voice.

Draco stopped. Did he hear Harry right? How could he have just said that?

Harry seemed to realize what he said, telling Draco, "I---I didn't mean to---"

"Now you listen here, you little prick, " Draco growled. "Just because my parents are dead doesn't mean I don't have people to disappoint. My godfather hates your family's guts! You think he'd be proud?!"

Harry said nothing as Draco continued.

"I thought that you would be a bit nicer if I showed you how I feel, but that didn't work, obviously. Calling me names, getting mad at me for something I had no control over, you being an incompetent brat---"

"Well, now you're calling me names."

"Shut up!"

Harry scowled. "Don't tell me what to do."

Draco shoved him back a bit, startling the dark-haired boy. "What are you going to do? Throw a temper tantrum like a toddler? Punch me in the face?"

"I---"

"Make sure I get hurt while playing Quidditch? Have me poisoned? Roll around and cry on the floor? Beg your daddy to have one of his Death Eater friends do me in?"

"No, I---"

Draco told him, "Apologise, then."

"What?"

Draco crossed his arms. "You never say sorry."

Harry threw his hands up and shouted, "I said it, like, five minutes ago!"

"Sarcastically, " Draco scoffed. "You pushed me down and cut my hand open because of this---this mess, you had to make that comment about my father, slapping my hand away---"

"Why do I have to apologize? You're the one who came in here unannounced and---"

Draco put his hand into his robes, pulling out a thick, large book with the words One Thousand Beasts That Could Kill You on the front. "I went and got you this to cheer you up, but I guess I was wrong. It's interesting."

He threw the book in Harry's direction and he caught it, gaping at the cover, which had several creatures moving around the title. "You---you got me this?"

"Yeah, I did, " Draco said, his voice dry and his eyes down. He made his way to the door just as he heard Harry behind him, but he told him, "It's late, get some sleep."

"It's only twelve-thirty. And Dumbledore said I didn't have to come to classes tomorrow. Or you."

Draco opened the door and didn't look back at Harry, who was clutching the book with both hands and his lip between his teeth.

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