Saving Myself || A Drarry Story

LXVII: Four Years

Three weeks had gone by with no word from Harry. It had been two days since Draco's last letter, which had been sent back with nothing aside from dozens of the notes he had always left for Harry for when he woke up.

About halfway through July, Draco finally received a letter from Harry, though his spirits sank when he read it.

I think it would be best if we take a break. This isn't working for me.

That was all it said. And Remus found Draco lying on his bed, still dressed and with his shoes on, which he would never have done before. "Are you ill, Draco?"

The blond boy silently handed Remus the letter that he received, burying his face into his pillow as Remus read the two sentences. "Oh, Draco. . ."

"Don't, " Draco choked out. "I told you, he doesn't care. He couldn't be bothered to write a few more sentences or to even see me face to face."

Remus swallowed. "I'm sorry."

Draco shook his head. "You don't need to be. Hell, he'll probably kill himself before anybody sees him again."

"That's nothing to joke about."

"That's nothing to worry about."

ווווווווווו×

Draco sat up, not feeling older. It was his twenty-first birthday and he was still living with his godfather, hardly wanting to leave. Teddy would be starting Hogwarts this coming September and he often fell asleep with Draco, nerves always getting to him.

In four years, he had never received another letter from Harry and it was as if he never existed, though, from time to time, Draco would remember him and how his lips used to fit perfectly in his own. He would remember how Harry's body fit perfectly in his own when he slept.

There had been countless flings after Harry had ended it with him, but he never got as far as he had with Harry Potter. He tried not to think of him.

Draco's birthday get together was a nice, small event with his friends, their dates and some of his family. It was nice, just to forget everything with Blaise and Theo at his side, though Luna still spoke openly about Harry and how funny he was, not taking any of Theo's cues.

When most of the guests had left, there was a knock on the front door. "I'll get it!" Draco called to his godfather. He suspected it to be Tonks, wanting to see Teddy and he was prepared to shoot her down brutally. But, when he opened the door, all of the air in his lungs left his body. "What are you doing here?"

"I. . ." Harry Potter started. He didn't look too much different than he did four years ago, maybe a bit taller, his hair a little longer, and his usual scowl was gone. "I. . .just wanted to see you again."

Coldly, Draco told him, "You could have done that years ago."

"I know, " Harry sighed, looking at the ground. "I know I should have."

"Was it a joke to you?"

"Was what?"

"Us, " Draco clarified.

Harry looked at him before asking him, "Can we walk? Walk and talk?"

Draco nodded, stepping outside as he closed the door behind him, following Harry down the porch steps and walking down the sidewalk, the sun shining and a slight breeze cooling then both despite the chill between them.

"What do you have to say?" Draco asked.

Harry shoved his hands in his pockets, not looking at Draco as he said, "I shouldn't have said what I did on the train. I. . .think about it all the time. When I'm trying to sleep, I can't stop it. I live on my own now. In Yorkshire."

"You've got a bit of the accent."

"I hate it, " Harry laughed softly. "But I couldn't stay in London forever, could I?"

"You could have, "

"But I didn't want to, " Harry sighed. "I. . .sent those notes back to erase you from my mind. And I ended it with you to try and get over you."

"You didn't have to, Harry."

Harry looked up at Draco, tears in his emerald eyes. He asked, his voice cracking, "Did you think of me too? Did you ever get over me, Draco?"

"I tried to, " he replied. "I tried like hell, Harry." Harry nodded. They were silent for a moment before Draco asked, "Why did you do it?"

"I was scared. It was like a voice in my head kept telling me that if, if we did end up together forever,  I would screw it up anyway."

"Harry, " Draco said, "You know that I didn't need reasons sold to me that would make me want you. I didn't need you to search for proof that I should or, or be scared that you weren't enough for me."

"I don't need reminders and I wanted to forget."

"We can clear the slate, " Draco suggested, "and start over. Can we try that?"

"You don't need to convince me on that, Draco Malfoy."

"Try to quiet the voices in your head." It was soft, the way he reached for Harry's hand as they sat on a bench. "I don't want to compete with them."

Harry wiped at his eyes hurriedly, his pride still swollen. "Did you keep the ring?"

"Yeah, " Draco whispered.

Harry swallowed. "I never thought that someone would want me and so I made thousands of reasons that would make you want to leave me and hurt me quickly."

Draco leaned down, kissing him softly, their lips touching along with their hands as Draco held Harry close, the rest of the world dissolving as if it wasn't real. It was just the two of them and they stayed on the bench until night fell and they walked back to Number Twelve Grimmauld Place under the street lights, Harry talking for the both of them.

"I have a job now, " he said, "for Newt Scamander as the artist for his books. I get the profit for the drawings while he gets the rest for actually writing and publishing the books."

"That's good, " Draco whispered, kissing Harry's knuckles sweetly. "I'm proud of you."

Harry hesitated for a while before telling Draco, "I have a kid."

Draco stopped. "What?"

Harry let go of his hand as he explained, "Ron's sister. She came over. I was drunk and it just. . .happened." Draco took a deep breath as Harry said, "She moved to America a few years ago. Just after she dumped him on me."

"How---" Draco took another gulp of breath. "How old is he?"

"Three, " Harry whispered. "He's with my mum. She adores him."

"What's his name?"

Harry looked at Draco before replying, "Albus. Albus Severus Potter."

"But you hated Snape."

Harry grinned shyly, scratching the back of his hand just like he did four years ago. "He was the reason I saw that you loved me. Four years ago."

"I still do, " Draco said. "And it's good to hear from you again." Harry nodded and Draco asked softly, "Does he look like you?"

"Just like me, " Harry replied, beaming with pride. "And he's a genius. Already reading. Though, he isn't very good at talking yet. But he can get by for now."

Draco gave Harry a hug, saying, "I missed you. So much."

"I did too, " Harry whispered, burying his face in Draco's chest. "When can I see you again?"

"Anytime, " Draco told him. "And, when you're ready, I'd like to meet little Albus as well."

Harry nodded eagerly, still beaming with fatherly pride. "He's really wonderful."

"I would think so, having a father like you, " Draco grinned. "I. . .I love you, Harry James Potter."

"I love you too, " Harry said, "Draco Lucius Malfoy."

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