You Can't Save Me - A Kylo Ren Fanfiction

Training

I had only been asleep for what I was sure had been minutes but was most likely hours. Still, I was no where near the sleep quota I needed to meet to be fully restored.

I was woken up abruptly. I found myself drug from my sheets and immediately face down on the floor. He's such an asshole, but honestly I could easily fall fast asleep on this floor with how tired I am. The cool of the tile almost feels nice.

"Get up. I told you we're training today. Or did you already forget?" I casually roll my eyes as per usual. His condescending tone was certainly not appreciated.

I didn't reply and shut my eyes, ignoring him and welcoming sleep. He ripped the sheets off of me - this time the cool was not welcome. The temperature of this room has to be in the low sixties. A shiver ran over me and I sat up.

"That's a start," he coo'd. His voice was dripping with more condescension and I was already not looking forward to this training. "Get dressed and meet me in the training room."

"Yeah, about that, you haven't exactly told me where that is?" I replied, crossing my arms habitually.

He huffed, clearly irritated. "Fine. Get ready and knock on my door when you're finished. I'll show you where it is, or, you could just use the Force to find your way. Your choice."

"Funny. We both know I shut the Force out long ago after you..." I stopped myself as he began to glare daggers at me.

"Not for long. Hurry up," he didn't give me time for a rebuttal before he had shut his door.

I sighed and lazily stood up. I walked to the set of drawers in the corner and opened one. Surprisingly there were clothes inside that were just my size. I found some undergarments that were also surprisingly just my size. How the hell...? I quickly pushed the thought away and began to dress. I put on a black tunic and some matching black tights. I didn't see any shoes in sight so I decided to forego them.

I hesitantly knocked on his door and he opened it quickly, "took you long enough."

This was all he said before he set off towards what I am assuming is the training room.

I follow him attempting to keep up with his hurried pace. I honestly have no clue what time it is, but my body feels ready to collapse. I trudge on, fully aware he would drag me back if I attempted to depart.

We arrive to the training room all too soon. I see a vast amount of drawers with what I'm sure is filled with a wide array of weapons. I look to my left and see a wall of mirrors. On my right I find a row of combat staffs. He throws one to me and I catch it effortlessly. Sparing had always been a talent of mine. Ninety percent of the time I'd kick Ben's ass and he'd be pinned beneath me in minutes. This time, however, he was a lot stronger and more skilled.

It took over an hour but I finally knocked the staff out of his hands and had him pinned. I'm pretty sure he let me win, but I dismissed the thought, not wanting to dwell. I'm too tired.

"What angers you?" He asked thoughtfully.

"Nothing," I shrug, aiming to where I believed his eyes to be, hidden behind his mask.

He huffed indignantly, "surely there's something."

"I wasn't lying when I said I shut the Force out, but that doesn't mean I don't practice some of the techniques."

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes, "you do know I'll bring it out of you, right? It's only a matter of time."

"Well good luck trying. I'm not even sure I can anymore," I stated. I almost heard a twinge of sadness in my voice but I push it away.

"That's not true. I still feel it. It's weak, but it's there," he replied.

"You think I'm weak and stupid and foolish yet you almost killed me yesterday. I let you in my head, sure, but I let you see what I wanted you to see. This isn't one sided."

"You don't know what you're talking about," he replies angrily.

"Maybe not. Maybe I'm wrong - not that I'd ever know. You never take that stupid mask off," I respond. At this time, I'm faced away from him, my body towards the wall of mirrors with my eyes downcast and looking at the floor. I was slightly embarrassed by my admission.

I hear a hiss and look up at him through one of the mirrored panels. I heard myself audibly gasp. He was still beautiful. His aquiline nose. The sprinkle of freckles adorning his face. Those golden orbs. I look away quickly.

"Look at me," he uses the force to bring my face back to him. I feel the tears stinging my eyes, threatening to fall, but I hold them in stubbornly.

"Does seeing my face make you angry?" he challenges. His face had become hardened after all this time, and he was not the same Ben I once knew.

"No," I reply frustratedly.

I sucked in a breath as I found him directly behind me. Pulling my hair to one side he smirked and leaned down to whisper softly in my ear, "your quickened heart and frustrated tone of voice tells me otherwise."

I hate him. I hate who he's become. I feel the tears start to fall. "I can't do this," I turned and hurried out of the room before the first tear fell. Luckily he doesn't attempt to stop me.

I don't get but two feet before I hear his saber ignite followed by what I'm sure is a now decimated training room.

I slam the door to my room shut and sit on the bed. All too soon I welcomed the sleep my body had been begging for all day.