You Can't Save Me - A Kylo Ren Fanfiction

The Task

Kylo attempted to talk to me over the span of the next week, but I shut him down each time. All I wanted to do was run to the piano room and just write and play until my fingers ached, but I figured he'd try to corner me there.

I stayed in my room and silently wrote on my bed, letting the time tick away. It was a good stress reliever and kept me somewhat sane on this ship.

It began to get lonely and I craved some sort of companionship. I could hear Kylo's nightmares each night and it pained me to not run over and stop them. I could feel his guilt eating him alive, sometimes probing his mind to confirm.

By day 9 of not speaking to him, not that I was counting, I heard a soft tap on my door. It was so quiet I could've sworn I was going insane. I slowly got up and made my way to the door, opening it. I was somewhat surprised to see him despite the fact that his room was indeed connected to mine. After day 5 he had stopped trying to talk to me.

"What?" I ask harshly.

"Oh um, I was just letting you know that I'm off to Star Killer," he seemed sad in saying so and I could feel pain radiating to his core.

I wanted so badly to give in, but I wasn't ready to forgive him just yet, "And?"

He sighs and I can visibly see his lip trembling slightly, "Nothing, never mind."

He turns to leave but I grab his hand to pull him back. He looks surprised, but I can see him slowly relaxing under my touch.

I sigh, "Ben..."

He doesn't even correct me, instead he pulls me to him and rests his head atop mine. I hug him back for what feels like forever, waiting for his breathing to slow.

I finally pull back, "What's going on?"

"I...The Supreme Leader. He's tasked me with doing something."

"What is it?" I'm almost curious, but once I feel the darkness creeping in I shut it out.

"To kill Han Solo," I gasp and he looks away from me ashamed.

"Ben...Kylo. You can't. Your own father?" I'm shaking at this point and on the verge of crying.

He takes my hands in his, "I have to do this."

I look up at him angrily, "No, you don't."

He sighs again, somewhat frustratedly, "You don't understand."

I pull away from his grasp and begin pacing, watching as he sits on my bed, head in his hands, "Then explain it to me."

He sits there silently and I walk over. I tentatively run my fingers through his hair and see him shiver. He used to tell me he liked when I ran my fingers through his hair, that it calmed and grounded him. Still, he stayed silent.

I kneel down and pull his hands from his face. He looks terrified, and I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes. Han is like a father to me too in a way, and Leia like a mother. I can feel my heart slowly breaking as I see his mind being made up.

"Kylo."

He abruptly stands up and begins walking out the door, but stops when he hears his name spill from my lips.

"Please don't do this." I say, shaking.

He walks over to me and with a touch of finality kisses my forehead and leaves.