Tangled Love : The Day We Were Whole

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Toritsuka

Finally home after a stressful day of finals, Toritsuka fell onto his bed. There was nothing left between him and Saiki. How much of a relationship could you have over weekends only. It was painfully obvious that it was a one time thing.

He hugged his stuffed animal and looked at the Polaroid in his hand; him and Saiki cuddled up in bed.

Why did it seem so long ago? That little room had no pressure to hide yourself. Toritsuka was free to be himself and act on his desires. But he was back in the real world now. One wrong move and he would be shunned by everyone he knew.

He didn't know when he began to cry, and once it began the tears wouldn't stop. It was torture living in his skin. The mere thought of telling anyone about this deepest darkest secret made his stomach turn in protest. He ran to the bathroom and vomited.

Tears still ran down his skin as he hurled into the toilet. He stood shakily and flushed, then quickly used mouthwash. He looked at his reflection, he scowled at the sight. He looked extremely sick and messy. His eyes were dark and his skin was pale.

He wiped his eyes as there was a knock on his bedroom door.

"Cone in!" He yelled while he remained in the restroom. He made sure he looked better before opening the door.

He saw Saiki on the other side, and that was enough to make his stomach turn again.

"Kusuo, what are you doing here?" He asked and sat next to the boy on his bed.

Saiki held the picture in his hand. Finally, he set it down and looked up at Toritsuka.

Saiki's eyes bore into his and made him want to cower away. They were so damn intimidating that he couldn't look straight into them.

"Kaido attempted to kiss me in the school restroom. So I told him I was seeing someone." Saiki kept his eyes on Toritsuka, who was chewing his lip. Saiki thumbed his lip away from his teeth. Rubbing the bleeding lip as Toritsuka looked at him expectantly.

"He wanted me to tell him, but I didn't. I saw it in his eyes that he would react violently. We can tell people if you want. But I'm not sure that you would be safe."

Toritsuka nodded and looked into Saiki's eyes.

"I'd like to tell everyone, I don't care how they'll react. I'm tired of this impending secret that's weighed me down for years.

I want to be free of it and stop hiding myself. And I don't want us to be a secret either. I don't want to have to sneak around on weekends. I'm just... not ready to tell my parents that's all."

Saiki nodded before quickly pulling Toritsuka into a tight hug.

"I'll tell mine, they don't mind me being either way." Saiki mumbled into Toritsuka's hair. Toritsuka hugged him back tighter than he ever hugged anyone before. He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs that he loved Saiki. He wanted Saiki to look him in the eyes and tell him that he loved him.

No, he needed that. He needed the feeling in his stomach when it was whispered in his ear. He needed he glint in his eyes when he was kissed, the words being told against his lips. He needed the sense of security in hearing those words and knowing that he would be Saiki's and Saiki would be his.

"Reita, are you okay?" Saiki's voice spoke outwardly, as it had for days now. Toritsuka nodded and looked back up at Saiki with tears in his eyes. He'd already confessed his love, but he did not want to scare Saiki away.

"I-i... I don't want to scare you." He said finally.

"You can't scare me, I can practically see through you." He said and pulled the boy back unto a hug.

"I don't know how to say it. Ugh never mind." He said smiling and closing his eyes into the hug.

"Tell me, Reita." Saiki insisted and Toritsuka shook his head.

"Can we forget it please, Kusuo please?" He pleaded with his eyes. Saiki gave up but the conversation stayed on his mind.

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Word Count 693