𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐗𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐚 [Xandra x Reader]

7 | Secrets

A/N: Finally a longer chapter (: I apologize again for updating only once a week.

If anyone had told me that I was about to go nuts in the following days I would have never believed them. Especially not if anyone had told me that the source of this madness would be no one other than Xandra. Maybe it was the way how she managed to do everything effortlessly with elegance and confidence that intrigued me. Sometimes it seemed as if she couldn't care less about everything happening around her by either chewing her fruity gum or by motioning a cigarette in her slim, slightly veined hands to her perfect plump lips.

Maybe it was her perfectly tanned body, maybe her perfectly shaped legs or her toned stomach that I envied. She would always hang around the house with a fitting crop top or blouse that revealed just enough cleavage to make my heart race and evoke a sentiment of dizziness if she stayed near me. Otherwise she at least wore shorts (preferably the white ones) to accentuate her legs.

Conceivably I was captivated by her perfectly shaped face, those brown eyes in which you could get lost for hours or by those glossy, rosy lips that looked so soft. There wasn't a day I didn't think about Xandra. I wished I could just shut my thoughts out - Admittedly I'd tried but to no avail. Xandra was everywhere - Everywhere I went I saw her face. If I just smelled the faintest of a cigarette's smoke somewhere my mind would go insane and picture her leaning casually against the wall with a cigarette between her fingers.

At first I'd thought it was just sort of affection or admiration that I'd developed towards the older woman but actually there was more I wasn't quite ready to admit yet. I then slowly started to believe that there was more behind it - Sort of one-side connection perhaps.

But when I not only started to imagine how her plump lips would feel on my skin, how it would feel if her lips met mine, but also I craved for her touch and her presence, I sensed I was in hot water. I couldn't explain how that had happened. How was I supposed to deal with those weird feelings towards a woman more than twice my age who was also my uncle's GIRLFRIEND? Xandra was my first inkling that women over 40 could be sexy. And when I realised I had a crush on her I found myself not only desperately, confusedly and helplessly trying to repress thoughts about her but also realised I was fucked.

I'd developed a one side affection that could never ever under any circumstances be returned. To make matters worse, I had absolutely no idea how to get rid of this affection as Xandra wasn't helping at all: Today I sat in the kitchen at the table, attempting to get homework done before Larry came home when Xandra appeared downstairs and spread herself out on the couch, grabbing one of her Magazins. I felt my knees getting week and my heartbeat picking up at once, knowing there was nothing I could do to stop it. Like I suffered from a disease that couldn't be healed. I focused on the next subheading in the text in front of me but the letters would suddenly blur and form to XANDRA. I blinked twice - It was gone. God, I felt like a lunatic!