𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐗𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐚 [Xandra x Reader]

9 | Teasing

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I needed to get rid of my weird headspace. Since the incident in the bathroom, I'd lain awake in bed at night way too often, staring into the empty darkness, thinking about no other woman than Xandra. Just the imagination of her had made my mind go completely insane and my heartbeat quicken. What had been on her mind when she had entered the bathroom seeing me in the bathtub that evening? Why couldn't I stop thinking about her? Why couldn't I break the cycle?

At some point of the whole cycle process waves of sadness would occasionally overtake me as I not only started to question myself but also couldn't avoid to consider the given circumstances. On the one side Xandra, a mature woman who would never even waste a single thought about me not even talking about returning my feelings for her. On the other side my uncle Larry who had been living with Xandra for years and who was in a relationship with her. The age gap was another difficult topic for me as Xandra was my very first inkling that middle aged women could be sexy.

Another problem with my current situation: I couldn't tell anyone about my feelings, about how I started to loose my mind and about this sadness that sometimes suddenly seized my body out of nowhere. To be more specific: I didn't trust anyone plus I was anxious of judgment.

Sometimes there echoed this inner voice through my head that said I wasn't enough, I wasn't worthy of loving a woman like Xandra and that she deserved better than a pathetic girl like me. Like I was starring as one of those desperate main characters in those cheesy romances except that now I knew how disastrous it could indeed feel like to become addicted to a person with ones unreturned feelings.

Today after Boris had walked me home with his black umbrella I closed the front door and crept towards the stairs, aiming to head for my room but as Xandra suddenly came around the corner I jumped.

„Oh god. You scared me! Aren't you supposed to be at work?", I tightened my grip around my backpack and glanced at her.

No need to panic in her presence. It was a casual conversation after all. Just act like a normal human-being.

Xandra chuckled slightly with a bunch of keys in her hand. „A bit nosy today, aren't we?" She started to play with the keys while I sheepishly smiled. „Well, it's my day off. I'm on my way to the grocery's but will be back soon. Is there something I can get you?"

I shook my head. „No, thanks. I already ate with Boris"

It seemed like something in her eyes suddenly changed as his name sounded although I couldn't quite put a finger on it. Xandra just slowly nodded and stopped playing with the keys in her hand. „I see. A new friend of yours?"

I nodded. „Yeah, we occasionally hang around after school"

„Ah, great", she just murmured while her gaze settled on the keys as she started to play with them again but then glanced at me, her brown eyes finding mine. „And what's his name?"

My turn. „A bit nosy today ,aren't we?", I impersonated her, giving her a sly smile.

Xandra locked eyes with me for a moment, then harrumphed but couldn't stifle the slight smirk that tucked at her lips. „Hm...Not bad", she then admitted, grinning, showing her perfect white teeth. As honking sounded from outside Xandra's head jolted to the front door. „Oh, time to go", she remarked and grabbed her beige handbag. As she was about to step outside in her white heels, she turned around, her blonde hair glistening in the midday sun. „Don't worry. I'm curious to hear all the details when I'm back" With that Xandra simply turned around and strutted to her friend's car, leaving me puzzled.