the love story of two best friends

#9 "blue room conversations"

(amelias pov)
Me and April are very close. When Samuel died I was the only one knowing how she really felt. I supported her from the day she became the diagnosis, even if it wasn't the easiest thing for me to do either. I was very vulnerable at this time and needed a lot of discipline living soberly and clean but I got much support from Charlotte and Owen as well as Richard. On the other side I knew how life saving, literally, support can be. I'm still beyond grateful for my family in LA. Charlotte, Sheldon and Addie. I couldn't have done this without them back then.
I knew best what April needed. She really antisocialized I did the same that's why I knew it was something you needed to do but also can be dangerous. I encouraged her to go to grief groups, to which I accompanied her. She always talked to me when she needed. We had hours of conversations. I was the shoulder she needed to lean on. She went to my call room when she had triggering situations and needed to calm down.
We have a very special connection and I know her maybe more than everyone. Except Arizona. They are like soulmates. They are each others better half. They have this perfect friendship since 3 years now. They met each other and were friends instantly. Arizona was soo worried about her mental health situation when she was pregnant, she asked me daily how she was doing. She supported her alot. Jackson tried too but he himself was broken hearted and vented to Meredith. He distanced from April and she from him as well, their relationship was struggling for so long already.
I was sitting in the spinning chair in the blue room. I'm in this room every free second. It really affects me in some ways. Then I got paged to the ER because someone had seizures. I saw April and while we checked on the patient I noticed her hickeys even if she tried to hide them. I remembered meeting Arizona at lunch today and she had some too... What the fuck. When we finished the patients surgery I bought two ice cream and searched April. "come with me April I've got ice cream" she smiled and followed me to the blue room. I sat in the spinning chair and April sat on the ground. I gave her the ice cream, after she aked what I wanted. "Eating ice cream and talking" "about what?" "You have something all over your neck" I giggled. "Who is the happy one? " April was shook. "I didn't wanted anyone to notice." she was really insecure. "I know, but I'm curious now, tell me. It isn't a bad thing. I know you trust me and you really can." "I can't remember everything at all." "Tell me everything you know." "can you lock the door, I don't want anyone to come in" I did. After she ate a spoon of ice cream she started. " It was the day I had a huge fight with Jackson so I thought I wanna chill with Arizona." My feeling was right. I already wanted to say something but instead I let her finish and ate my ice cream. "we ate something and drunk alot. Too much actually. We layed in her bed and then she stardet stroking me. I know what was going to happen. I was too drunk to do anything. Well... Then we kissed... She kissed me. And I did so too... somehow we fell asleep then" I just sat there smiling. "so you and Arizona had something?" "we were drunk and we were kissing. I don't know what that was." "but do you have a crush on her?" "she's my best friend. She's my very best friend but actually I don't know. I couldn't say no completely." "So you're bisexual now? Aww... I am too soo. There's only good about it" I laughed. "I don't know... Maybe...I don't know, I don't know." "Was she good kissing?" April laughed and I was glad she felt kinda like safe here. "I know you'd ask this, but yes, she really was. I enjoyed it so much." I twinkled at her. "I guess Arizona made a good choice too." We giggled. "So it was good and you enjoyed it?" "Yes. I think so." "Do you want it again?" April looked down. "You want don't you?" "Honestly yes... I kind of want it again. You know it was something new. Something I didn't had before. But I'm afraid. I don't even know if it was something... Real... or if Arozina was just too drunk." April seemed kinda overwhelmed. I layed my arm around her back to make her feel more comfortable."You know, I think Arozina isn't the type of "just" kissing someone. You know that." "You mean she's in love with me?" "I don't know, but clearly she wanted to kiss you and she needed to be drunk to feel safe to do so." "She... Oh my God...." "Are you too? I mean you both are very close, you know that." "I don't know how I feel about Arizona. Like it's different than with you. We're best friends you know. She's like my better half... And then this one day when I had my divorce and she came over she was everything I needed to make me feel better. I fell asleep with my head on her belly because it gave me so much safety and comfort. She is always there when I need her." I think that she is in love too and doesn't realizes it."I think the reason because you feel different about her is love." "do you?" "yes i think so." "But what am I gonna do?" "I think you two should talk about it, otherwise it will be more and more difficult." "I don't think i can so this." "I'm sure you can, fight for her." She wasn't that positive but tried to smile to me anyways. "you can always talk to me, you know that, plus I wanna know what's going on with you two now." "I will tell you."