the love story of two best friends

#15 "jealousy"

(arizonas pov)
"Jo... I'm sorry okay?" "For real? You have ignored me for weeks. I wanted to talk to you, you couldn't. I wanted to meet you. You couldn't. You were with someone else." She said this with such a mean tone it made me really sad. "I'm sorry but the past few weeks have been difficult." "Mine too, but apperantly you had better things to do than listening to your 'best friend'. I don't know what was so hard for you to just call me but well... I think you have been with April a lot lately huh?" "yes... But there were reasons." "ah..." "You know Jo I can't only care about you okay. April needed me and that's why we couldn't meet." "Did you thought about that I needed you too?" "Yes... The timing was a bad one. I know it's not your fault." If you want I can come tomorrow and we can talk about this whole thing?" "Okay... I don't mind." "Maybe it is better when April could come too and we could explain it together, I don't wanna tell you something she wanted to keep private." "and there she is again..." "Can you please don't hate on April? When its somebody's fault its mine and not hers" "Well. Seems like you two have some big secrets." "Jo calm down. If you don't want her with us tell me." "honestly?  I don't care at all." "okay... It's your decision." "We can meet at the diner tomorrow at 4. Is that okay?" "yes."
(aprils pov)
"so u wanna tell jo about us.?" "I'm really not sure yet." arizona called me while I was eating my dinner. I felt so special those past days. someone was really caring about me... and loves me. But we need to tell jo something you know. I don't wanna loose a friend do you understand me?" yeah I do. But I feel like Jo already don't like me that very much and it's not gonna make it better." " I think maybe if we'll explain everything to her it's gonna be okay." "maybe... but what if three days later everyone knows? this kinda scares me." "I understand if u want to keep it private for now. I just think when it's about jo I should be honest because she's my best friend." " I know... maybe we can decide this when we're really talking to her, the topic will for sure come up and if I'm ready I'll touch your elbow, so it isn't too obvious. "I love you." "I love you too az"
(arizonas pov)
april and me drove to the diner. we both were nervous so we didn't talked that much. I just concentrated on driving and April was staring out of window nervously damaging her nail skin. "it's gonna be okay apes. she's still our friend and its no serious issue." "I don't know how to say... but I have the feeling that... I kinda feel guilty. i was the person why this happened." "April you're definitely not. stop saying that okay. I'm the one screwing this situation up with jo... defenetly not you." I just hope you're gonna be friends again" "me too apes me too." we were standing in the parking lot and I gave April a kiss. we went into the diner and waited for jo.
I already saw her. All three sat down before we all said hi to each other. Jo seemed to feel okay now. "hi jo" I'm glad April made the first move" "hey y'all... you wanted to talk to me right? so go ahead." she didn't seem mad but had this fake interest I noticed right away so I decidet to answer her. "first of all I want to apologize again..." "okay but why.. what's the reason you ignored me for weeks?" " didn't felt that good the last couple of weeks to be honest... it has many reasons and antisocialized in general. It wasn't purposely I guess." "okay... I'm sorry for you but can you maybe a little more specific?" actually I didn't wanted. I'm glad life is how it is right now. I don't wanna remind myself to the time 3 months ago where I cried myself to sleep and everything seemed useless. "my leg you know. I had trouble with phantom pain a lot. do you remember the little 3 year old girl in the ncu you assisted me with? The one who didn't who didn't made it...? I still blame myself for that..."
(aprils pov)
she still does... I didn't thought that. I had the same situation with a patient once maybe I can help her to get over it later. "okay I get that, but why were you always with April...? why didn't you talked to anybody else?" I didn't know if I should answer that question. I don't wanna just sit there and do nothing. I felt kind of in the wrong place there but whatever. "it was the day of my divorce when this whole 'thing' stared." oh God that must have sound so awful. "which thing?" jo asked again. I looked at arozina trying to say that I'm sorry. I don't want to continue this... I know in which direction this wil go. Doesn't really matter what we do, it will for sure will be akward.
(arizona pov)
i looked at apes. I didn't know what to do but I know how this is gonna turn out. she just looked at me and I saw how uncomfortable she felt. I saw her arm moving. I know what this meant and I know how scared she was but she decided it.
"Jo... you know i want to be honest with you... so... April and I... we are dating. actually, we were dating. We're a couple now." I felt uncomfortably weird saying this to jo but id had to be said. "wait what?! you are a couple?" April didn't say anything... ohh fuuck this will be a tough conversation. "yes..." "April? you aren't even like into women?" we never talked about her coming out or if she was bisexual or something like that. it didn't matter for me. "I love Arizona, that's all." Jo looked at her a little suspicious. "jo please don't blame us okay... nobody can control what we are feeling." " well... okay... I don't know what to say to be honest. I feel like everything is different now. I feel like you don't care about me anymore Arizona." "this wasn't her intention for sure." my heart melted a little when I heard how April defended me... " how do u wanna know April?" she sounded sort of mean and I had really to calm myself down to not yell at her. I had so many emotions in me. April didn't answered her. "Jo... I know it's a difficult situation for you but can't you imagine that I know how she's feeling" "yeah sure..."
(aprils view)
I wanted this to be over... jo was in a really bad mood and az noticed that too. "soo jo do you think you could forgive me now?" "I think so maybe... but I want to have some time to process..." " yeah... well is it okay if we're going now." " yeah I don't mind." jo said, she seemed so reserved. but I felt the relive the moment we stand up and walked out of the door. As soon we were sitting in the car I felt the tears in my eyes.