the love story of two best friends

#12 "the night before"

(aprils pov)
I was at home about to make me some food then my phone rang and I answered. They said that Arizona is in the hospital because of a inner bleeding in her brain. I went to the hospital right away and wanted to talk to the doctor. But they still operated on her. I was in the waiting area. I couldn't do anything. There was one sentence repeating in my mind. What if she's dead, what if she's dead, what if she's dead. I couldn't stop it. I felt like my body freezed, like I couldn't move anymore. That's the moment I opened my eyes it was dark I just just saw a ray of light. I wanted to move but I couldn't get up. I couldn't move. I was scared because I don't know who opened the door. Someone turned on the light. I still couldn't move. I didn't know why. I couldn't talk either. I heard steps coming closer I couldn't recognize someone's face but the steps came closer to me. "she's dead." I just layed there, unable to move. I heard the voice but it was unclear, like I was drowning under water. It felt horrible because I couldn't say anything. I layed in the bed and started crying. Someone said something again but I couldn't listen. I couldn't handle this situation. I still couldn't move and started to get panic. I still heard noises. I couldn't saw the light ray anymore so I don't know if I slept. If this really happened. I had no sense for time, reality, dream or anything else. It was too much at once. I couldn't do anything. The panic got worse and I just layed there hoping it would get better. I couldn't take it anymore. My whole body shaked and I couldn't stop it. I wanted to distract myself but I didn't know how. Then out of nowhere someone came back in the room and stand really close to me. I tried to hold my breath because I was really terrified he or she could harm me. I don't know for how long i layed there with my mental breakdown. It was exhausting and I didn't wanted to feel anything at all. I wanted this to be over.
I didn't slept. I was desperate and anxious. I heard these voices the whole night even if I didn't understand what they were saying. I wanted to get up and ask a doctor if I could see Arizona one last time. I stand up and didn't see anything and was about to pass out. I ignored it and opened the door, it slowly it became better and I walked out of the room.
I saw the hallway and then they was Arizona looking at me. I was so overwhelmed and confused. I couldn't imagine all this didn't happen. I just looked at her and in the same moment ran into her arms. I was so relieved I couldn't do anything but cry. Arizona lived. She was alive. I just cried cause I was so relived but at the same time I couldn't cope with this situation. I don't quite remember everything but sitting in this call room with Arizona. Then we went home. I don't know what we did there. I can't remember all the conversations. Then I was a little bit dizzy and closed my eyes.