A Plus In Love

*CO-SLEEPING*

***LILY***

I was texting my mother that  I was with Giles when I got a message from Giles. I didn’t think anything of it. I opened the message to what I can only describe as soft porn. I choked on my own saliva and dropped a real classy oh fuck. Pretty hard to cover up the fact that something drastic just happened.

    Dutch was the one to check on me. He was like a second rendering of Giles. His hair was dark brown, his skin tan and smooth, and his eyes where just as cutting as Giles, but emeralds. I felt safe with Dutch, we never had sexual energy, just happy energy. It's nice to have that with a guy.

    “What’s wrong? Are you feeling sick again?” He reached over and touched my arm. I patted him to reassure him. I nodded to answer before I regained my voice.

    “I’m good. I was just surprised.” I tried to control my voice when I saw Giles. What was he getting at. That was uncalled for. I wasn’t his girlfriend. I wasn’t his type. This was going too far. “I just need Giles.” Shit that sounded bad. “To take me home.”  

    I left cash and walked out. I did feel a little sick to my stomach because I wanted him. I knew it was a mistake, but I wanted him anyway. And he was hurting me without knowing it. Or did he? How could he? AHHHHHHHHH.

    “LILY! Calm down.”  Giles took me into his arms and pressed me into his chest. I relaxed at the pressure and scent. He  smelled of  fresh cut wood and sunshine. Dammit this was part of the problem. “What happened, why are you upset?” We were at the car and I got in. I didn’t want to have this conversation in public. He slid in beside me and looked concerned.

    “You sent me an almost dick pick, what the fuck? Your being a real jerk right now Giles. I know that you know I like you. I don't know what the hell your getting at but it needs to stop.” The tears were rushing to the top of my throat. “You may not even realize it, but it hurts. This is an assignment and I’m not delusional enough to think we would ever be a real couple. But you can see how the lines are getting a little blurry for me right?”

    He didn’t say anything, but started the car and drove us home. He parked my car and I got out. Of course, alone again. It was well past six and if my parents were going to be home, they would be.  I pushed the door shut but it didn’t close. The breeze picked up and his scent engulfed me. I wanted him to follow me, knowing it would only hurt. Why did I hate myself. He followed me into my room and closed the door.

    “Giles please. I am not strong enough to stop this. I have been pretty much hung up on you since the first time I saw you.  The reason I’m telling you this mortifying information.” The pressure of the embarrassment  was bone crushing. “ Is to hope you will take pity on a sweet fat choir kid, and stop.”  I was exhausted again. I just flopped down on the bed and let everything go. I didn’t give two shits if he saw  me lose my shit, because he already had.

    How can he be so silent. How is the air in the room not suffocating him. How was he standing the feeling of pure awkwardness and shame.  It felt like it wanted to split my skin open it was so expanded. I felt myself sink deeper into the bed and then a warm wet tongue licked my neck where tears had been and lips kissed up to the corner of my eyes. He moved his lips over the bridge of my nose and down my over check. Licking the tears down my neck.

    I let myself feel every bit of it, knowing it would never happen again. I more than likely guilited him into this. I should feel bad about it, but I didn’t. I soaked in every millisecond. His tongue was soft and his lips were silky.  He was hovering on top of me. his knees where at my hips and his elbows were at my shoulders. I could feel him just inches above me.