Saving All My Love

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    I storm into work, wanting to hit something. Mom just totally pissed me off, all up in my kool aid. Telling me, "oh, you're not being fair, you're not being a woman, I thought you would have grown up after Josie".

    I'm grown! I may only be 18, but damnit I'm grown. My daughter is my life. Mom has no idea what went on between Dylan and I, or the depth of it. I know she doesn't want to repeat history, but c'mon; I'm your daughter. There is absolutely no reason for me to keep Josie away from her father.

    "Hey Ester" Mrs. Union smiles, wiping a table "how was school baby?".

    I try to stay mad, but it's hard, "fine Mrs. Union. How are you today?" I hang my things up, and change into my uniform.

    "Great. Some sweet fellow stopped by here earlier; gave me over four thousand dollars, for the rink. And some extra, for whatever" she beams.

    That's odd. "Mrs. Union, I wouldn't trust it. I mean, why would someone just hand over that much gwala. It don't feel right".

    Just then, Felicity walks in, "miss me?" she pecks Mrs. Union's cheek.

    "City, guess what. Someone gave Mrs. Union over 4k today" I tell first, trying to get her on my side.

    Felicity gasps, "4k? Don't you owe me a Christmas bonus from last year?".

    Mrs. Union laughs. "Felicity, not you too. It's bad enough you want to live with Ethan, but you're overlooking this too. Really?". She isn't using her head today.

    As the words life my mouth, I knew I was wrong. I had lied earlier, saying it might be a good idea to move in with him.

    It's definitely not a good idea.

    "Ester; I thought..." she frowns.

    "Felicity, I'm sorry".

    She ran off, like she was ready to cry. Mrs. Union gave me a warm comforting smile, before going after Felicity.

    "Can this day get any more depressing?" I fling my head back, unintentionally rolling through the rink.

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    All night, Felicity kept her distance from me. I understand, she thought I was happy and approved. An 18 year old, should not be living with a 25 year old. She's a baby, she should live her life, get to know herself.

    Closing crept up, and Felicity still didn't want to look at me. Like every other night, it's just us here, and the custodian Jerry.

    "Boo City" I beg.

    She finished counting the money, and put it in the safe. I was shutting all the extra lights off, leaving only the hall lights for Jerry.

    "Felicity please. I want what's best for you".

    She shut the safe door, huffing, "don't try and act like you're all about me. I know you saw him first, and...".

    Yes; I met Ethan first, yes; I wanted him first, yes; I had my chance... but what she needs to remember, is that it was a phase. Ethan has this cool demeanor, and I like it. Thing is, Felicity actually liked him, and just being with him; I could tell she was more his type.

    "I don't want Ethan, Felicity. I... I'm.... I think you should think harder on this. You've never been to yourself; don't you want to be independent?".

    She turns to me, "being independent, doesn't mean I need to be alone".

    "I, am not alone". I know that's what she's implying.

    She goes on, trying to cover it up, "what I meant, was...".

    "I know what you meant. And for your information, I chose to raise Josie here; around her family" I raise my voice.

    I know Felicity has doubts herself, and that has to be the reason she's taking it out on me. If she thinks I'm going to just sit back and watch her get hurt, she got another thing coming.

    "Ester, you think because you got pregnant young, then Dylan leaving; means everything is set up for a sad ending" she protest.

    This girl. What is wrong with her? "What sad ending!? I'm happy with my life, and you don't know anything about Dylan leaving!". I don't know why I get so worked up, defending him. Everyone thinks Dylan up and left me, because he found out I was pregnant. Not true. Not even close.

    "Whatever Ester. I have to go, Ethan is picking me up".

    That bitch. All I wanted to do, was help my best friend, my child's godmother.

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    Here we go again. I pull up at moms, beside Dylan's car. It's late, why is he here? And again, mom should have called me.

    I enter the house, being greeted by Dylan carrying my sleeping baby, dressed to go home. He looks at me with those eyes I can't resist, "mom said you'd be here soon. I got her ready, so she didn't have to be out any later".

    'Eye roll', he got an issue? I take Josie from his arms, "do you have a problem with my parenting?".

    "No. I was just trying to help. But to save the trip, and have her in for bed, I can watch her".

    I brush by him, calling for my mother. Obviously; watching her, means at my house. He needs to take a step back, and realize the situation he's in.

    When I couldn't find mom on the first floor, I assume she's up in bed, or hiding so Dylan and I can be alone.

    I return to the door, where Dylan is still standing, "where is she?". If mom left Josie here alone with him, I'm going to be very upset.

    "She's in the basement, doing laundry. Josie spilled some juice on the couch".

    "Well, you're here; tell her I said thank you, and goodbye" I leave the house. Mom being all buddy buddy, with him? Got the man over her house, when she was ready to kill him when I told her about him. There was no way, her 15 year old daughter, was dating a 18 year old; not to mention I was seeing him before I brought him home to meet her.

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    Dylan again, came out after me. I buckle Josie in, shushing her back to sleep. Dylan caught up, lightly closing the back door, "Ester, why do you keep doing this?".

    I went to get in the car, but he put his hand on the door so I couldn't open it. "I'm not doing anything. Now, can I take my daughter home? To her bed".

    "Take our daughter home" he corrects me. I fold my arms, mad, "yea, well as far as I know; I've been raising her. So, she's my daughter".

    His face became soft, probably finally thinking of my feelings, and what he did. "Look, Ester; I'm sorry I left. I apologize for letting you care for Josie alone, when I also contributed to creating her. But I'm here now, I'm staying".

    Josie wasn't cared for by just me, I've had generous amounts of help; like mom babysitting after daycare, so I can work.

    "Rekindle with Josie, she doesn't know you; I do. We don't need to be friends".

    He grins, biting the corner of his lip, "I know you too, Ester. You'll come around".

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Multimedia Felicity (Raye Raye Boyce)

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