I'm not going anywhere

5

The soft glow from the street lights press against his face, he is so concentrated on the road but, still slowly reaches his hand out and places it in my knee and smiles to himself, never taking his eyes away from the road ahead of him.

It's about 15 more minutes before he parks his car in the dark, I can hardly see. He quickly gets out of the car and I quickly follow behind not wanting to be left alone in the dark, I catch up to him and walk beside him with my hands in my pockets trying to avoid too much hand-holding because of our previous argument, I'm standing my ground I don't want to be all affectionate until he asks me to be his boyfriend if he ever does.

He's disappeared.

"What the fuck!?, is this where you're taking me to kill me?... Alex? come on... don't be a twat" I stand alone surrounded by trees and darkness the only thing telling me where I am is where the moon shines between an opening in the trees.

"Alex?" I let out, worried.

I HATE the dark especially outside.

I think I might cry, no, I know I will cry. I can feel it in my throat and swelling in my eyes, this was supposed to be fun and maybe romantic but he just messed it up, now I just want to go home and cuddle into my bed with joggers and a jumper on, no shirt or pants... that's the cosiest.

"A- Alex I'm not having fun anymore, I want to go home... I don't like this. It's dark and... I'm scared" tears stream down my face as I croak out my plea but he doesn't show up.

"Alex" I yell out much louder than anything else I've said tonight. And then he comes running out of the trees and right over to me.

"Why'd you stop following me?"

"You disappeared... I want to go home, you know I don't like being in the dark alone..."

"River! I'm so sorry I don't want to make you cry," he wipes my face and becomes so protective of me; If I wasn't so distressed I would be smiling and blushing. He takes my hand and pulls me into the trees, I squeeze tightly not wanting to lose him again. I seem like such a baby but, I'm not; I play football with the boys, I do stupid shit with them, I just can't deal with the dark and being lied to otherwise I'm not very emotional... unless drunk.

He runs his thumb over my hand to reassure that we're safe, but all of a sudden we're in a clearing, not huge but, really nice. The moon sits almost directly above us. He pulls out the small blanket that we usually use for the beach and lays it down on the ground. I sit down and lean on my elbows but Alex immediately crawls over to me and wraps his arms around me like a small child nestling his head into my shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he says softly, now he's acting like the baby. For once I feel like the bigger man between the two of us. He looks up at me with teary eyes.

"Oh my gosh, what's wrong Alex? are you okay? what happened?" I start to stress. What has happened? Has someone said something to him?

"I hurt you too much and I let you get scared, I don't want that to happen" He is so beautiful. I wipe his tear and pull him towards me.

"It's okay I was thinking too much and acting like a baby" I rub my hand across his back to soothe him, it's weird how this feels so right even though we've never done anything like this, ever.

"No, I..."

"Shush we're not here for that, let's enjoy ourselves okay? It's almost 10 and we have drivers curfew, so let's enjoy the time okay?" he nods. But we don't do anything, just lay here but, I love it.

"River"
"Yeah?"
"Do you think when we go back to school we will be like before or how we are now?" I didn't even think of that, tomorrow is the last day of the long weekend.

"Umm... well, you're not my boyfriend, so what would we do at school?"

"Oh... we cuddle now?"

"When and where would we cuddle at school?" I giggle a bit.

"At lunch, on the grass, under the tree, while the boys play"

"Why wouldn't you be playing?"

"'Cause you never play at lunch?" I do never play at lunch, I always try to do my homework

"but, you love football, you always play" he never misses a game, even if he's sick, which he has done before; we were all at the fields playing via the group chat and Alex rocks up in his tracksuit, beanie and messed up hair, nose all red, sneezing the whole time but, he didn't stop playing once.

"You're better," I can't keep in my smile, he snuggles his head into my chest even more and squeezes his hands gently.

"Why are you being so cute, huh?"

"Cause you make me feel cute" I just want him to ask me out already I want to kiss him so badly but, I refuse to do so unless we're dating after what happened today. He jumps up and grabs a small stick about the length of my forearm.

"I don't have any flowers but, this you can keep forever" he sits beside me and looks me in the eye.

"River... I've been wanting to do this for so long but, I didn't think you felt the same way for me until the other night. But, I can't stand being just your best friend anymore, I want to call you mine, my boyfriend and so much more... River, will you let me?" He is too cute. He hands me the stick and I nod my head, his smile explodes all over his face, he tackles me into the biggest hug anyone has ever given me.

"Come on, let's go back to your place before 11 and your brother gets home from his party" I nod and get up watching him stuff the blanket into his bag and pulling me to the car as fast as he can. I'm a little disappointed he didn't kiss me, to be honest, but, I can do that later I guess.

~edited 22/03/2020~