I'm not going anywhere

29

(smut warning)
River:
My mother will be back in two days and I still don't know what to do... She said I should be gone by the time she gets back but I don't know where to go, obviously I could just move in with Alex and his family but I feel bad and like a burden I wouldn't want to do that and my dad lives too far away, I could never leave Alex or Will especially Will with mum the wicked women, she's ruined everything all because I'm in a relationship with someone.

The feeling of wanting everything to stop suffocates me so much so I fall into endless sobs, my body aches but not a sound comes out anymore, I'm just curled up in my bed with silent tears streaming down my face everything feels so big while I feel so small like a petal in the sea slowly sinking down until it's too far to come back, why couldn't my mother just love me and be happy for me she always pestered me to get in a relationship and here I am happy and in love which is what she wanted but of course it doesn't satisfy her request, I've never even had a crush on someone before now.

I can hear and feel my phone vibrating on my bedside but I can't be bothered to move and get it so I just leave it to do it's thing, for a couple of minutes it's stops but then it picks up and goes crazy so I finally give in and unlock it

I read through my notifications and they're all from Alex which makes me smile but I can't call he would be able to tell something's wrong so I just reply telling him I was asleep.

I leap out of bed and try and clean up as best I can, I pick out an outfit because he loves when I dress well

He lives really close so he won't be long so I make the bed and pick up the dirty laundry until I hear the door open

"Bub I'm here" I run to the bottom of the stairs and stand with my hands behind my back and smile

"Fuck"

"Huh?" He walks towards me

"You are so fucking cute" my face goes red and I can feel it. He grabs at my hips and pulls me in for a kiss

"And your mine.... Just mine" he whispers in my ear, goosebumps cover my skin as he nips at my neck I can feel him leaving a mark but I don't give a fuck anymore, I dont care about anything now, what is there to care about really I'm just a homeless gay boy who can't play sports and isn't smart enough to get through school without failing.

I can't feel anything anymore.

"What's wrong Bub?"

"Bub"

"Hey, river ? What wrong"

"Huh, what?" I pull myself back into reality

"What's wrong?" I just shake my head and glue my lips to his neck to distract him, I press my body against his and run my fingers through his hair

"River" Alex puts his hands against my chest

"Stop" he gently pushes me away but I move back in

"River I said stop, what's wrong ?"

"Nothing, just kiss me please"

"No" I step back, I can feel my eyes welling up but I don't let him see, I just move to the kitchen and get a glass of water.

"River talk to me" I don't want to cause I know he'll try and get me to move in with him but I don't want to

"Nothing's wrong alright don't stress baby"

"River... Something's going on why won't you tell me, were dating were supposed to trust each other and not keep secrets"

"I'm not, you know literally everything"