Despite It All

Chapter 5

It's half past ten in the morning, and I am standing outside a small cafe near my apartment, willing myself to go in. You can do this, Lauren.

It only takes a moment to spot him in the cafe, his tall, broad frame gives away his location easily. He's sitting casually at a small round table, but his facial expression is tense. His dark hair looks a little mussed, like he's been running his hand through it. His right hand hovers over the cell phone that sits on the table—like he's trying to anticipate its future notifications. His face is clean shaven, and he looks more put together than he did the other day in the hospital. Dark, fitted jeans hug his long legs and a charcoal henley hugs his sculpted chest and biceps. The long sleeves are pushed up to his elbows, showing off his tan and thick forearms. His full lips are set in a pensive line on his face, still managing to look plush and delicious above his strong jaw. My shameless perusal of his body sends tingles down to my core. For just a moment, I allow myself to picture how amazing his firm, heavy form would feel wrapped around me.

Focus.

After just a few steps in his direction, he finally looks up. His eyes meet mine instantly, and his expression softens with relief. A small grin appears on his face, making him look boyish and endearing. He stands up, prepared to greet me as I approach his table.

"Hey, Lauren. I was worried you weren't going to show," a breathtaking smile graces his face as his eyes bore into mine.

My lips pull into a small, unsure smile. "To be honest I wasn't sure, either."

He nods slowly in understanding, forcing his own smile. "Well, what would you like to drink?"

"I'll take a flat white."

"Okay, I'll be right back."

I nod and situate myself at the table. God, this is already so awkward and oddly formal. My fingers twirl a strand of wavy brown hair—an anxious habit.

He returns a few moments later with two steaming mugs. He places them on the table and sits across from me. I feel my body buzzing with his proximity—I know I am on edge.

Silence.

The caregiver in me is dying to break the silence, to ease him of his heavy burden that displays so harshly across his face—but I can't. I can't bear the thought of this beautiful and endearing man being a cheater. I just... don't believe it. I'd like to think I am a good judge of character, and I was so enamored by him. I feel foolish, angry, ashamed.

I finally force myself to look up at him, only to find him staring at me. He appears to be deep in thought. Although to be fair, I have been, too.

He inhales sharply, "Lauren, I meant to tell you. I really did." His deep voice is laden with an eagerness I have not yet heard from him.

Anger manifests from within, originating deep in my chest and rapidly emanating from my pores. The feeling continues to rise and before I know it, it's seeking the only route of escape—my smart mouth.

"Oh really? Well that makes it all better. Thanks. I meant to read your mind, too. Guess I was just too distracted to do so when you had your tongue down my throat." My voice was not loud—I'm not one to make a scene—but it was snarky, strong, and sure. However, my insides are anything but. I'm willing myself to not visibly shake before him.

His eyebrows scrunch on his face, taking in my harsh words. He leans forward, placing both arms on the table. The position makes him appear even larger than he is, hovering over the small surface area.

He closes his eyes for a moment before calmly responding, "I deserve that. I shouldn't have kept her from you. It wasn't fair to you or her. I didn't mean to hurt you, though. I was only protecting myself."