Despite It All

Chapter 37

Day +12

"Hello?"

"Hey Ash, Logan and I are on our way. Does anyone need anything?"

Logan's hand rests on my thigh as he drives, absentmindedly rubbing his thumb along my jeans. His head subtly bobs with the music, concentrating on the road.

"Actually, Mia asked for some dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets. I doubt she'll actually eat them, she really hasn't eaten for a while... but it's the first thing she has actually asked for so I feel like we need to get it for her. What do you think?"

"I think it's great she is asking for anything food-related. She's been on that TPN for a while now, I'm not surprised she isn't really hungry. We'll definitely grab some. You and Jack need anything?"

"No, I think we're good. Thanks Laur."

"Ask her how Mia's counts were," Logan interjects.

"Oh, Ash. What were Mia's counts for today?"

"Still no white blood cell count, really. Hang on, I wrote them down. Sorry, it's kind of hard to read it in the dark, Mia freaks out if you turn on the lights. Ah, okay, the white blood cell count is still 0.1, and her hemoglobin was 6.4, her platelets were 7. She has a blood transfusion going now, and she already got a bag of platelets. She's still getting all those antibiotics and stuff too. Stupid fever. Oh, and they said something else was high again but I can't remember what. It's so much to learn and keep track of, you know?"

I do.

"Okay, nothing too surprising, I suppose. She's probably going to be on antibiotics, anti-fungals, and antivirals for a very long time. They treat fevers very aggressively, especially when the white blood cell count is essentially nonexistent. She's just hanging out right now?"

"Yep. She's been fussy about turning on the lights, I feel like we've been hanging out in the dark for the entirety of the last two days. Poor girl, I wonder if she has a headache."

"Maybe," I respond, "or I wonder if it's just a control thing. She doesn't have control over anything else, you know? It's nice for her to feel like she actually has a say in anything, even if it is just the light in the room."

Ashley sighs, "Yeah, could be," she continues after a brief pause, "ugh, okay. I'll see you guys soon?"

"Yes, see you soon."

Logan raises a brow at me after I end the phone call, wordlessly questioning me.

"Mia wants to chomp on some dino-nuggets," I reveal with a grin.

"Seriously? She hasn't eaten in days. This is great. And dino-nuggets? Damn my girl has great taste!"

Contagious excitement pours off Logan, and it makes me smile. I place my hand atop his, squeezing it.

"She does! Now... don't be disappointed if she doesn't actually eat them, babe. Her appetite is all messed up from the chemo, the round-the-clock anti-nausea medications, the PCA, and the IV nutrition she's getting. But I'm not going to lie, I'm excited she asked for anything at all. She's been so tired and out of it lately."

Logan hesitates for a moment, resigned to the truth. "Yeah, I know. But we're definitely stopping off for some. No way is my girl asking for a specific food and not getting it."

"Agreed."

***

Our shopping cart squeaks lowly as the wheels spin across the white tiled floor; I push it ahead of me with every step, chuckling when Logan stops every few feet to examine a new snack in the aisle of the supermarket.