mine (rd.benji)

- eighteen

aleyia

i hadn't spent a day without benji in three weeks. all we did was fuck around and hang out. not like fuck each other. we did do that but not like we used to. we were like unofficial but official to ourselves without saying it. just me n him. the little pet names were my favorite. baby, babygirl, his angel. i felt so important.

and the best part is no one fucking knew. not a single soul. i blocked cameron on everything and every time he tried to talk to me in school i was able to walk off or he would walk off. for my first real boyfriend he was good. i thought it would last a little longer. but what do i know.

i always felt sophie's glares but she was the last thing i cared about. i cared about benji. that's it. my mind was always playing thoughts of him. his smile. that hair. the feeling i have when i'm with him. and the feeling that no one knew. and if no one knew no one could fuck it up.

my footsteps matched the pace of my quick thoughts. i was in my head as i walked in the halls, earbuds plugged in. i didn't realize how much i changed when i was with cam. it was short lived but i became so basic so fast.

once it was cut off i was back into my skater ways. i even stopped skating when i was with him because he always gave me rides. now i was having a good time. being the same old bitch doing new shit. any stare i got from the football girlfriends didn't faze me anymore. cause i felt good. i knew i was good.

i felt a hand grab the beanie off the top of my dome. i spun around quickly to find the culprit to be met with an empty hallway. i yelped as my whole body was pulled sideways into and empty janitors closet. a hand covered my mouth and a chain clicked turning on the ceiling light. i flinched at the sight of a grinning benji.

"asshole." i huffed pulling his hand off my face. it took a minute for my heart rate to regulate. "i couldn't wait to see you." he said quietly as people passed the door. he kisses me gently pulling me closer from the curve of my back.

"babe the bells gonna ring." i said pulling away. "when did you start caring about class?" he asked pulling my hair out of my face and pulling my beanie back over my head.

"when we reached junior year and i realized i have to graduate." i pecked his lips and slumped out of the closet. "leave your window unlocked." he said quickly before the door shut. i rushed to my next class but not for long it was only a half hall away.

—

i managed to go a whole day thinking about benji until the next time we saw each other, the same way i did every day. we decided we had to maintain the same. not super distant but not super close. just people in the same friend group. i took my seat at the lunch table diagonal from him remembering the time i watched him get dragged across it. i bit my lip sitting down.

"ley did you hear about ryan's dad?" maria asked me.

"hm. no." i said confused looking to ryan. "he proposed to his girlfriend last night." he sighed.

"isn't she like twenty two?" i asked. ryan's dad was well into his late forty's and i'm not gonna lie he had money. good money. and tiffany like it. tiffany was a little white girl from colorado. head full of bleach blonde hair. she was really pretty and thought we didn't know what she was doing. she wasn't evil in anyway. just ditsy and loving being spoiled.

ryan didn't like her. it was obvious. ryan's mom passed away around the same time mine bailed so we got really close during that time when i was like ten. i watched my feet as they skirted around the waxed floor. i felt my phone in my pocket go off. i checked it under the table.

benji <3
you thinking of me?
11:46 am

i smirked looking glancing at him quickly.

how did you know?
11:46 am • seen

benji <3
you make it so obvious.
11:47 am

how's that?
11:47 am • seen

benji <3
i see you squirming around in that chair.
11:47 am

i bit my lip softly turning off my phone squeezing my legs together tightly trying to ignore him but i couldn't help myself.

—

as soon as i set foot in my room i felt like i was gonna explode. i unlocked my window and called benji immediately.

"hey babygirl what's good?" he spoke.

"get here. now." i fell onto the bed.

"are you okay? what happened?" he said worried.

"i- i need you." i said embarrassed.

"im on my way now baby." i heard him turn quickly while driving.

i hung up the phone tapping my foot. i couldn't wait any longer i had to do something. i slowly slid my hand down slipping my pants off leaving me in my panties.

i let my hand do what my mind needed. i wanted benji so bad. in my moaning, back arching trance i didn't hear the door open. "you couldn't even wait for me?" i jumped sitting up faster than ever.

benji smirked slowly making his way to me. he lifted my head by the chin to face him. "i bet my tongue would feel a lot better than your fingers." he said. his raspy voice was killing me.

"please." i pulled him into my by the jacket. "don't worry babygirl. i know what you need." i watched him disappear between my legs.

not only could he do better than my hands. he could do better than cameron.

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february 19, 2020
1012 words

i have no words. gn

d ☁️