Okay

.39.

"Don't. Please, stop." I beg. "This is embarrassing."

I'm at Birdie's heels trying to snag my dirty clothes from her hands as she sorts the massive pile into different groups.

"I'm just going to get you started." She ignores my pleas, tossing a dark shirt and some blue jeans at my feet. This feels too much like college, she was always getting on me about my messy half of Holt's and my dorm room.

"I don't want you to though, I'll do it." I tell her. "Please."

She tosses another shirt into a pile, pausing for a moment as she looks up at me and grins. It's enough to stop me dead in my tracks, my brain malfunctioning but then she laughs and everything I told myself I wouldn't do dissolves into thin air.

As she goes to toss another piece of clothing I snag her wrist, tugging her to her feet. It's like we fall into a rom com as she trips over my pile of dirty clothes and stumbles into my chest and I catch her. I'm not complaining though. I like it when she's close.

I let my free hand wrap around her, resting on the small of her back. Her T-shirt has risen up just slightly, the smallest sliver of skin peeking out for my hand to find. Her hazel eyes are alight, laughter spilling out of her. I tuck her long straight hair behind her ear because I love seeing the soft angles of her face.

I've lost my god damn mind.

Cupping my hand around the back of her neck, my fingers slipping into her hair, I press my lips to hers. She smells like lemon and honey, her lips warm and soft. I love the way they feel against mine, how tender her kiss is.

Need rushes through me as her hands pull me closer, everything in me thrumming to life, filling the voids in my soul until all that there is, is Birdie.

Backing her up, I push her into the wall, neither of us breaking the kiss. Her hands slip beneath the hem of my shirt, pushing it up my body as her hands roam my skin. It sends an electric buzz scrambling across my skin. I take the smallest break, just long enough to yank my shirt over my head before I crash my lips back to hers.

Her fingers slip across my skin with a featherlight touch that draws a moan from me. I don't think there's anyway I could possibly feel more but then her fingers dip below the waistband of my boxers and my jeans get uncomfortably tight.

But it shocks some sense into me and I pull back abruptly.

"Hannah." I breath.

There's a lust filled smile on her face as she looks at me. I can't catch my breath or find any words as I take her in. She reaches for me, her hand lacing our fingers together as she steps forward. My heart feels like it might explode.

Her eyes dance between mine, fingers grazing my jaw before they slide into my hair.

"Drew." The way she says my name makes me want to fall to her feet and worship her.

But she doesn't give me a chance as her hands fall to my chest and she takes her turn at pinning me against the wall of the hallway. I don't protest, loving the way she presses into me. The curves and lines of her body fitting seamlessly against mine.

Sucking in a breath, her hand travels across my chest, down my stomach where she grazes the skin just above my boxers before finding the button of my jeans.

"Hannah." I repeat against her lips.

I'm trying to find some sort of protest. But my thoughts are scattered, too focused on her hands to really come up with anything coherent.

I feel her smile, her mouth leaving mine to trail kissing along my neck.

I don't stand a chance. It's like she knows exactly how to touch me to make me putty in her hands. Her breath tickles my skin, lips grazing my ear lobe sending goosebumps rushing across my skin as she whispers "undress me".

Swallowing hard, not because I don't want to. I really, really want to. But this is Birdie. And she deserves more than what I can give her.

"Hannah."

"Shh." Her lips press against my neck again, one of her hands finding mine and she pulls me the short distance to my room.

I'm suddenly aware of how pathetic my room is with its lone mattress laying on the floor and the sheets wadded up, one corner coming off the mattress.

But no sooner do I fixate on how I wish we weren't at my place while this is happening does she pull her shirt off over her head and the thoughts escape my mind.

"God you're beautiful."

Her cheeks flush. "Then why aren't you kissing me?"

"I'm just going to end up hurting you Hannah." I tell her.

Without skipping a beat she says "That's my risk to take."

My head hangs because if I keep looking at her I know I'll give in and I'm trying really hard not to ruin everything I love. But Birdie closes the distance between us, hands running through my hair as she tips my head so that our eyes meet.

"I'm not afraid to love you Drew."

"I'm going to hurt you." I'm so convinced it's true, that it's not a matter of if it's a matter of when.

"I don't care."

"Please Hannah." I beg, wishing she'd just drop me because I'm too selfish and weak to do it myself.

Her fingers gently scratch through my hair, hazel eyes bright and open "I'm right here."

And all I can think about is how she stayed. How I woke up next to her. How every morning since I've been desperate for her to be there again.

I'm a piece of shit, I always have been so even though I know I shouldn't, I stop fighting it. My hands find her bare stomach, pulling her toward me as I stumble my way to my mattress. My lips are on hers in a desperate frenzy as we drop to the mattress and I shove all my ethics and morals to the side.

I need all of her.

And I can't get to her fast enough.

                            —————————

😳

Anyway, some of my favorite chapters are about to happen. I've also almost found the end to the book. It's looking like about 60 chapters give or take. Okay fine, 62 to be exact not including the epilogue because you have to wait for that anyway while we go through Vows and Safe's epilogue. But that being said, the rest of Okay is completed so now it's just updating a chapter until we're done.

I'm off to finish Vows (I'm real disappointed in the emoji selection for a superhero power stance. 🦸‍♀️ <- wtf is this? This is the saddest superhero ever. I want like the Hulk charging off into the distance about to Hulk smash some shit. LAME)! It's going to be a short shorty like Drew was.

And, if you're looking for something to read and haven't already go check out o__marcella__o . I haven't read all her stuff but I have read Chew, Chasing Jonah Mchale and Sweat. And you should check. That. Shit. Out.

Also, this staying home bullshit because of the corona virus is making me stir crazy. I'm writing a lot but come on! Who else is going nuts? 🙋‍♀️ I'm bored. Talk to me. Entertain me. I'm losing my mother fucking mind over here.