Okay

.44.

"We're good right?" I ask Holt as I step out of his townhouse for the last time.

"Yeah."

But I still feel like I'm fucking up if I go home to Birdie. "You sure?"

He laughs quietly. "Positive."

"It won't be weird?" I study him, the calmness that's exuding from him, his hands in his pockets as he stands on the sidewalk with me relaxed.

He shakes his head. "I'm happy for you guys."

The wind shuffles through the massive trees that line the street, shading the sidewalk and the fronts of the townhouses.

"If that changes, all you gotta do is say something." I sound like Mo but I've never been more serious. "I'll end it."

Holt chuckles. "I promise Drew, I'm good with it."

I stare at him uneasily. I can't decide if my desire to believe that he's okay with it is because I'm selfish or if he is actually cool with it.

"You guys should come visit." He adds. "Free place to stay."

He gestures back at his townhouse and I can't help but smile. "Yeah, that'd be fun."

Holt steps forward, Blue waiting for him on the porch and this time when he hugs me, I'm more prepared. I wrap my arms around him, the two of us holding onto each other for what is probably longer than the average bro hug. But I know I need it and maybe Holt does too.

I can feel Holt's heart slamming against his chest. It makes me wonder if this is triggering him but he doesn't make a move so I stay there until he pulls back on his own.

"Thanks for the clothes man." I say, trying to ease some of the build up of emotions that lingers in the air.

Holt smiles, his voice a little tight as he says, "I won't get rid of that box for your next impromptu visit."

Laughing, I lift my knuckles toward him and he hits his to mine. "Thanks."

But it's a loaded thanks. It's a thanks for the clothes, for letting me stay the weekend, letting me show up unannounced. It's a thanks for not hating me. For understanding my fucks up were never intentional but rather a sad attempt at holding myself together. It's a thanks for being my best friend even when I haven't been one back.

"Anytime." He smiles slightly at me and with one last nod I climb in my car and drive away.

                            ————————

Birdie met me at my apartment when I got home. Smiling at me, making me grin like an idiot as I reassured Mo that I was fine on the phone. I hadn't told him Birdie was here but when I went to say goodbye he told me to tell her he loved her. I'm not exactly sure how I feel about it but I don't dwell on it long as I pocket my phone and pull Birdie to me.

Her hair is straight, cascading down her back in one smooth wave. Honey and lemon fill my nose as I bury my face in her hair, arms wrapped tight around her.

"I was right, wasn't I?" She says against my chest, her voice light and full of happiness.

"Yeah." My words rumble in my chest, the smile that's been on my face since I first saw her, still there. "You were."

"Told you." She pulls back just enough to look up at me, hazel eyes shining.

A laugh starts to bubble up inside me but it doesn't have the chance to make it out because I haven't kissed Birdie since before I went to Chicago and with her so close to me I can't wait any longer.

So I close the distance between us, her soft lips warm and gentle as they press against mine but it doesn't stay that way as lust starts to fill my veins. My hands leave her back where they were wrapped around her, cupping her face to hold there her.

I'm greedy, pushing her back gently as I take the bag of carryout that's still clutched in her hand and discard it on the nearest surface. She lets out this little moan as her back meets a wall, our hips pressed against one another. Her hands slip under my shirt, warm against my skin as they explore the plains of my stomach.

I'm already hard, exploring her mouth with my tongue in a needy frenzy. She calms the blackness inside me like the sun breaking through the clouds after a storm, until all there is, is still waters and warmth.

"Drew." She breathes as I come up for a brief second of air.

I shift my focus to her neck, her head tilting to the side to grant me better access. "Hmm?"

"I missed you." She whispers.

Pulling back just enough to take her in, her eyes shut, eyelashes fanned out across her cheeks, rosy lips slightly parted as her chest rises and falls rapidly.

My mind can't muster words, I'm too lost in the need to be as close as to her as I possibly can be. Lifting her from her feet, she lets out this beautiful laugh, wrapping her limbs around me and I carry her through my messy apartment to my bed.

"Our food is going to go cold." Laughter in her voice as I slowly lower us down.

"I don't care." I don't sound like myself, my voice deep and filled with lustful distraction.

Her hazel eyes meet mine, bright and full of life and even the few short seconds that it's taken me to get us here has been to long. I rip my shirt off over my head before I lower myself down to Birdie and lose myself in the lovingly blissful world she creates when she's near.