The caregiver's secret

Chapter 34.

Bianca's POV

I compose myself once more as I adjust my black hat in the mirror. Everything is just so suffocating I don't think I can pull through with the burial today.

I stand in all black. Black heals, a black fitting pencil skirt, black silky blouse and a black hat, all refecting how dark and hallow I truly eel inside. The sole touch of brightness are the pearls that nest on my neck.

My wedding band will sits on my dresser where I left it days ago, I lift up my hand to examine my ring finger. When did everything go so wrong?

One moment everything was fine, I had my family in tact, mother was alive and everyone seemed to be happy.

Now, my family is hanging by a thread, mother is gone and I feel life the world is going to come crashing down on my shoulders.

The cemetery is as gloomy as every. Or maybe it's just me, because nothing seems bright in the world today.

Maybe it's because the light Mom shone is gone.

When she was here the sun would shine and I would feel like it's shining for me.

The birds would chirp and I would feel they were chriping for me
The flowers would bloom and they would bloom for me.

But today the sun no longer shines for me, the birds don't chirp for me and flowers haven't bloomed.

A lone tear soils out of my eyes, rolling down my cheek, peaking out of my shades.

As the casket is lowered into the ground, my vision zeros onto the chestnut wood.

Unaware of my surrounding, I finally notice that there are people around.

Laural and Leon stand on my left, Lucas and the kids on my right. I was in too deep in my sorrow and self pity, I hadn't taken note of anything around me.

How did we even get here? I wonder to myself.

Laural and I step forth to put the first flowers on her grave.

'Beloved daughter, mother and grandmother... Blah blah blah'
Is engraved, but I can't even bring myself to read all of it, because it doesn't express half of what Mom was. She must have been too good for this world anyway.

I've worked everyday with her as my role model, but I know that in all my life I couldn't be half the mother or woman she was.

She was strong for Laurel and myself, always a fighter. That is where I get my strength from, to pull through my marital problems for my children.

It's amazing what mothers endure and sacrifice for their children, at times their own happiness is compromised. There is so much I understand now, taking a look at all the flowers on her grave.

Lucas laces his fingers with mine, leading me to the car. With Hosé on his other hip and Izzy and Isaac following besides us.
We make our way to the house for a luncheon,with family and close friends.

Laural and I stand at the enterence welcoming everyone as they pass their condolences. We head inside, the late comers will be led in by the house staff.

As I make my way to the kitchen to refill Hosé's sippy cup, I'm met with Leon.

"Bianca." He greets with a hug.

"Hey Leo!" I respond.

" I know this is not a good time but I need to speak to you." He tells me.

"Sure, no problem." I assure him.

"What's up?" I ask, leading him to my own study.

"It's Laural." He starts.