Fractured Future

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It was a warm, sunny day at the base, the children of a few of the rebels, or kids that were saved, were running about. Roxy was stretching, ready to go work on the ships for the day, it had been slow lately, it was a nice change of pace. 

She watched as the kids ran here and there, she began walking to the shipyard, when a young boy ran into her, falling on his bottom. Kneeling down, she held out a hand. The boy, no more than six years old, looked up, and his eyes widened. He scooted back, and stood, running away.

Roxy stood, scowling she continued on her way. Others had gotten used to her eye, she hadn't yet, but it seemed she frightened small children. Great.

Grabbing some tools, she began her work. Taking apart, cleaning, fixing, putting back together ships and their parts. It occupied her mind, she had a few late night conversations with Benjamin that laid their eggs in her mind, conversations that made her question a lot. 

They talked of marriage, sure, and she was all for it, but after the war. But Benjamin had mentioned kids once and Roxy wanted to hear no more of it. He wanted to leave a legacy behind, when he and Roxy pass, he wants someone to carry on their names and tell their story. 

Roxy, on the other hand, didn't want kids, for many reasons she didn't want to think about. 

The thoughts continued to bore into her mind, and not paying attention to her work, she slit her hand open on a piece of jagged metal. 

"Fuck." She swore, grabbing a towel she wrapped her hand. "You okay?" questioned an all too familiar voice, one she loved, but at the moment didn't want to hear.

"I'm fine Benny, just cut my hand is all.." She hissed as she held her hand. Benny took her hand, and unwrapping it, looked it over. "Let's go to the med-bay, clumsy." he said, grabbing her good hand and pulling her away. 

She got it stitched by the medic, and they left together. "You're usually good with that stuff, what's got you so occupied, love?" asked Benjamin. Roxy huffed, "Nothing, it's not important, I'm gonna get back to work." she trailed off. That answer wouldn't do. 

Benjamin stood where he was, and Roxy turned back, "What?" 

"Something's up and I-" he was cut off by two small children running into him. "Sorry mister!" one of them apologized, "yeah, we're sorry!" said the other, Benjamin smiled, "It's alright, go ahead and play, stay out of trouble!" he called as they ran off. His kept his eyes on them, that same bright smile, Roxy felt her heart in her throat. 

"They're so cute, aren't they?" he asked, turning to his lover. Roxy just nodded, it wasn't that she didn't like kids, no this issue went much deeper. "Hey, when we have kids, you think they'll look more like me or you?" he laughed. There it was again. 

He had been hinting at it on occasion, but Roxy would change the subject, it seemed she would have to come clean sooner rather than later. 

"You seriously want kids?" She asked, walking towards their room, so as to keep the conversation to themselves. "Well, yeah, I know I had a shit dad and you're parents were..well...you know. But us, we would never make those mistakes." he explained. 

"We're in the middle of a war, Benjamin..." "I know, but after the war, or when it really settles down and they don't need us anymore, we could settle down and find our own place." he began daydreaming. "What if the war never settles down, or ends for that matter." 

"Why are you so against this?" Benjamin asked, getting a little annoyed. "Look, I don't do well with kids, the padawan's that I used to help Ahsoka with annoyed me, and we once found a little girl back during the clone wars that Rex and Ahsoka took care of for a few days and I was terrible with her, and just today a little boy ran away from me because he saw my face! Not a great feeling when you frighten children, Benny." She ranted, finally letting go. 

"Our child wouldn't run from you, they would love you no matter what, because you're it's mother." "You talk about it as if we're actually going to have a kid!" 

"Look, I know we're in the middle of a war, and maybe this isn't the best time, but if we had kids they'd be unstoppable, with your strengths, beauty, and wit, my know-how, deadly aim, and charm. Think about it!" he went on, Roxy felt tears building. 

"I don't want to think about it, okay!?" She yelled. Usually Roxy never raised her voice to Benjamin like this. He stepped back a bit, "Look, I'm sorry for putting pressure on you but if we get married one day, I want kids, you've known that for a long time and I-" 

"I can't have kids!" she yelled. "I physically cannot bear a child, okay?!" 

"What do you mean?" he asked, "Back during the wars, when I was injected with the clone serum, it made me infertile! Clone's can't have kids, man or me, I'm physically incapable of having a kid...it's not that I don't want kids, but I just can't have them. And you talking about it all the time doesn't make it easier on me. I'm sorry." She began crying.

He just stood there, "Say something, please!" 

He blinked, "I'm sorry, I wish you had said something, but it's not your fault...I'm sorry for being so pushy." Benjamin wrapped her in a tight hug. Roxy sniffled, "I'm sorry I yelled..." 

Benny cracked a sad smile, "It's okay, I can't imagine what you've gone through."

A thought came to Roxy's mind, "I could have a test done, the serum has started to fade out and time's caught up to me, maybe the infertility has worn off. I could go to the med-bay and talk with Xandrea, maybe she could run a couple tests" she offered, Benny nodded. 

"Yeah, but only if you want to." 

"I want to." 

The next day they went and had the tests run, the result would be ready in a couple days. Roxy had gone on a mission with Rex and Kanan, which involved a lot of arguing, and stress on Roxy's part. She just wanted to crawl in bed with Benjamin and stay there for days. 

She had talked to Rex about her and Benjamin's situation in private. 

"Well, remember Salucami? I met a deserter there, Cut Lawquane, and he had two kids with a Twi-lek woman, and they didn't look full Twi-lek and they were too young for a previous marriage. I think maybe that's something that fades, or maybe it's hit or miss?" he explained. 

He gave Roxy hope.

They finally returned home, and right after talking to Hera, Roxy ran to find her lover. She found him in their quarters, holding a closed envelope. 

"The results are back, I didn't open them, I figured you should do it." he said quietly, holding it out to her. Roxy again felt that gut-wrenching feeling, her heart pounding. She took it with shaky hands and began to open it, Benjamin stood from his place on the sofa.

Roxy read over it, and tears began to roll down her face, and she slowly fell to her knees. Benny caught her and held her, "Honey, I'm sorry..." he teared up. 

"read it." she whispered. And he did so, and cried out as well. 

It came back negative, she was fertile. 

"So you can..?" "Yes, someday we can start our family.." 

They just held each other and cried for a while, Roxy never thought she could have a child of her own, but she was granted a chance, for the future. 

"I love you more than anything in the galaxy."

"I love you too, Doll." 

After a little celebration, Roxy and Benjamin shared the news with Ahsoka, Rex and her other brothers. They all shared a few drinks, and had a few laughs, talk of the future arose, and for once, it didn't scare Roxy.

She leaned over and kissed Benjamin, it was quick but sweet. Just to let him know that she loved him, and that when the time came around, she wanted to have their family. 

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A/N: I've had this idea for a while, it was meant to be more angsty, but I figured Roxy has been through enough so, I made it happier! Enjoy! And stay safe! ~Emily <3


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