Canvas - Z.M

Chapter 8

"Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with them. -Carrie Bradshaw"

I felt kind of forced to be in this situation.

In the back of my mind, I have my conscious telling me to go with it. Grow some balls and dump him.

And then there's that side of me who still believes that there is a side to him that will love me.

I mean he did all this for me.

He hasn't said a single cuss. He hasn't yelled at me. He hasn't commented about what I've eaten in the past twenty minutes and he seems genuine.

But I hate asking myself how long his facade he's pulling is going to last.

Zayn has done this before. But not the extinct of surprising me like he did today.

Usually he'd tell me what kind of plan he had or it'd be a gift as if it was token of his apology.

But a surprise dinner and a genuine conversation that hasn't lead him to strangling me, I'm totally fucked in the head right now.

Dump him.

"- so I told my mum that we can go now. I managed to get a break." Zayn says, eating a mouthful of chicken.

"So you're going to Cyprus?" I raise my eyebrow.

"Me?" He frowns. "No both of us. With my family."

"Right. Ahh- we need to talk." I murmur, placing my fork down on the plate.

Dump. Him.

His face pales and he looks down. "Later."

"Later? I'd rather now." I say confidently.

Zayn looks at me and frowns.

No. I can't.

"What?! What is it?!" Zayn frowns.

I look down and shake my head.

"I just want to thank you for tonight." I smile and he relaxes.

"Oh." Zayn breathes. "I'm trying." He murmurs quietly before grabbing my hand.

I hold my breath as he runs his thumb over my knuckles.

No. Don't fall for it.

I stand abruptly and grab my plate and he frowns, stopping through a conversation we were having.

"What are you-"

"I'm finished."

Zayn shakes his head and looks at my plate that hasn't been touched.

"You've barely eaten."

"I don't like eating in front of you." I say honestly.

He blinks at me, completely clueless. Why are you fucking confused?!

I sigh and take my plate to the kitchen but he stops me.

"Where are you going?" Zayn frowns.

"Washing my plate."

Zayn sighs and grabs my plate before placing it down on the table. "Come here. Please tell me what's wrong? I want to resolve everything."

He reaches for my wrist and pulls me onto his lap and I take a deep breath.

If this is going to be the last time, enjoy it while you can.

"Everything that's happened in the past two years can't be resolved over night, Zayn." I rest my head against his chest and sigh to myself as my subconscious sneers at me.