Canvas - Z.M

Chapter 22

"Do you believe in love after love?" LOL I can't remember the artist of this song ha. Classic.

Is starting over a possiblity? Washing away all the memories and make new ones?

If I do take him back, all I can think about is the way he'll behave. Will he treat me better? Will he get worse? Maybe this is all a sick game and he really want's to get back at me for leaving him.

Maybe that's all he's good for. Hurting me?

I love him, and I want to take him back in a heartbeat, but that's all I've ever done in the last two years.

Has he changed like he says he has. I saw a glimpse of his anger in the cafe and it's made me rethink.

I don't know what to believe anymore.

He can't even say he loves me, but yet he admits he does. What's so hard about saying it? What's the difference between saying it and admitting it?! They're both the same aren't they?

I close my eyes in annoyance before pulling into the driveway once the road is clear of oncoming traffic.

This is a bad idea, but communication is apparently good from what Zayn had told me.

Getting out of the car, I lock my door and check my phone to see Eleanors message.

**Remember, call me me if you need anything. 

She's such an amazing friend.

"Are you coming?" Zayn questions suddenly.

I look up at him as he walks up onto the porch.

Taking a deep breath, I nod and keep my distance as I follow him inside the house.

Almost immediately unwanted memories start to engrave in my head.

Even though he's renovated the house to help me forget everything, it doesn't help.

The staircase where he use to drag me down when I tried to runaway from him, the glass table that's been smashed and repaired I don't know how many times. Everything about this house has it's own secret memory that manages to stalk my mind and my dreams.

My panic starts to raise as he dumps his keys on the table. The distinctive sound triggers more memories and Zayn looks at me confused.

"Hey," his voice is soft, but I'm worried.

What if he does something?! i shouldn't be here! I shouldn't have come alone!

"I'm not going to hurt you, calm down." Zayn murmurs as he closes up the safe distance that I've been keeping. He cups my face and holds my gaze, expression worried. "No more." He reassures.

I hold my breath and pull away from him as I try to push the lurking fear away.

I take a seat down at the glass table and he frowns.

"I'll order some take out, since we didn't get to eat." Zayn says and I nod in silence before pulling my phone and distracting me with it by playing games.

After Zayn ordered whatever it was he ordered, he finally joined me at the table and I stayed in silence as he watched.

I kept flicking my gaze at Zayn before finally turning it off and lookng back at him.

"What?" I raise my eyebrow expectantly.

"You're cute."

I roll my eyes.

"What's new?" I tease and he narrows his gaze at me before smirking. "It's really cold in here." I say quietly.

"I know, I have to live with heat pumps. Since you left, it just  kind of feels different." Zayn murmurs. "It's the truth, I'm not just saying it."