Canvas - Z.M

Chapter 11

A/N: Sorry boring chapter, again -_-

"Such silence has an actual sound, the sound of disappearance." ― Suzanne Finnamore.

Every day is like I'm treading in thick muddy water that I can't seem to exit out of.

I'm fine until I see something or even smell something that seems to trigger happy and unwanted memories. Everyday I ask myself If I'm going to cope and get through this. Every day I reassure myself that I've done the right thing.

It's been two weeks. Is he struggling just as much as I am?

I want to be able to walk out of this house with no problem, but I feel like the weight on my shoulders is back.

My abuser, is still able to abuse me without even exisiting in person, but only a figment of my imagination.

My mentatliy is going crazy and all it takes is just one simple sentece to get me to come back.

I haven't seen Zayn since the day I was on Acid. Since then, I get flashbacks of him. Everything else that happened during my trip was just blurry.

But my mind won't waste time on reminding me that Louis was most definitely right. He did worry about me, but I was too caught up on the drugs to even realise.

I was too lost in the rabbit hole that I was falling through.

I'd kill to get my hands on acid or anything to make me get away from reality.

In a side note, Eleanor sucked me into a lunch that was actually a blind date for me a couple of days ago.

His name was Liam ironically, and even though I wasn't exactly interested in him, he was a good distraction. Now that it's Nialls birthday party tonight, Liam is taking me and I'm fearing to see Zayn. Unless he's not going to go but that's just my hope setting up itself for misery.

"I don't like him." Louis says as he watched Liam walk out of the cafe.

A double date this time, that I got sucked into again.

Eleanor frowns. "Why?"

"Because he's not Zayn."

My gaze flicks up at Louis who's already looking at me.

"Do you like him?" Louis questions.

I shrug and Eleanor huffs.

"From what you've told me, Zayn is an asshole to her. So? She needs to move on. Candice will-"

"Eleanor!" Louis frowns, cutting Eleanor off but I'm already suspicious.

Eleanor bites her lip then looks at me who is staring at her confused. "What about Candice?" I question.

"Nothing." Eleanor smiles half heatedly and Louis stands.

"I guess we should go then." Louis says.

"Seriously, guys, what about her?"

They exchange glances like they have no idea I'm already mentally piecing it all together in my head.

"He's back with her again, isn't he?" I murmur weakly.

Eleanor pouts. "They're not exactly dating. They're just sort of-"

I throw my hand up to stop her from talking.

"I don't care." I shake my head. "I really don't care anymore. I'm so over this."

Louis sighs and grabs the notes that Liam had left and walks up to the counter. "My offer still stands Miss Acid."