The Loud Mind Of A Quiet Person

Introduction

   After months of doubts, I have finally decided to write a book. I have always thought about how it would be like and what it would be about but I postponed it until I discovered it might be helpful, both for me and for others. Several people told me anyway (as if it is a bad thing) that I write too much.

In my last two years I discovered a lot of things about myself. The trait that was the simplest to find was the fact that I am an introvert. I have always felt a bit strange about it before I knew what this was supposed to mean but I became comfortable with it in time. It is not like I can change this aspect anyway. Later I have found out other personality traits. I know that I am an Overthinker. This is the main reason I said writing this book will help me. I think a lot about stuff and most of the times it is without me wanting to do so. My mind often likes to take over then I wake up like I was in a dream and stop all this involuntary process. I also know that I am an Empath. I will take great pleasure in talking about this beautiful subject in one of my chapters.

Recently I have taken a personality test, more specifically the The Myers-Brigss Type Indicator. The result was that I am INFJ (Introvert, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging). I kindly recommend you to take this test too. It does not last long, especially if you know yourself pretty well. I took this test after I had seen a Facebook article about this personality type, INFJ. The title suggested this type applies for less than 1% of people. In the comment section there were a lot of persons who identified themselves as being INFJ but there were also people, and they were right to have questions marks about the authenticity of the comments, who said something like " It says this is the rarest personality yet everyone in the comment section says they have it". I had found the article and the description of INFJ relatable but I wanted to be sure, so I decided to see exactly more about my personality. But I do not feel special about it or rare. I am surprised and even doubtful about the part that says "less than 1%". Rare or not, that is who I am. I cannot change it, and I have no merit for this. Bragging about it seems absurd anyway. It is as If I am bragging about having dark hair. Not to mention this personality has very... powerful downsides. But again, I will say more about it in the following chapters. During my typing history through chats, people told me that I use dotting a lot, but I do not premeditate it, I just feel like it, and there will be no exception in this book, I will dot often. I want to be natural and honest, not only in this book but in life in general. (I made this observation because I dotted then I deleted then dotted back again because is not like it is something bad, on the contrary, for me dots in writing are full of meaning). It is not even the first page and I have already showed inner fights and contradictions. So, again, I invite you to take this test. If you answer honestly, you will know yourself way better and this is always helpful.

Unfortunately (or not so much), other trait that suits me is having anxiety. I specified "not so much" because I sort of figured out that the source of anxiety is something positive, not only in my case, but for everyone who has it. I know it might feel wrong to diagnose myself instead of letting a psychologist to do so but some things are way too obvious. I knew I have it the first day I had seen its definition. Again, I have always felt weird about it and did not know why I am like this and what is wrong with me but connecting this term I had not known anything about to my feelings helped me understand it and stopped making me like I am some sort of alien. Anxiety is another chapter I will address.

During my life, through introspections and involuntarily thinking, I have also formed ideas about other important subjects such as: Music, Depression, Love, Loneliness, Happiness, God, Kindness, Trauma and Involuntarily Memory, Online hate and Sexism. I have rarely shared my thoughts on these subjects with people and I do not think I have ever written more than three Facebook comments. I just observed things and stayed quiet, so these ideas remained in my head, up until this point.

I cannot ever imagine myself writing fiction. It seems something so out of reach for me. Because of this, I have maximum respect for those who do so. But, for helping myself getting out of difficult emotional situations, my mind analyzed feelings a lot and the topics mentioned above, so I can write about these.

The aim of this book is to be useful in two aspects: First one, being relatable. This helps against the battle with the loneliness a lot, to know that you are not the only one who feels in a certain way, you are not crazy and other negative thoughts you might develop in your darkest hour. The second one is hoping that some ideas about these important aspects of life I address will help people who need emotional support. No, I do not have any psychological degree. What I say is not right or wrong. They cannot be anyway. These are beliefs, not facts, based on what I have been through so far. This book is about how I see the world .I simply hope that my ideas will at least make sense.