The Loud Mind Of A Quiet Person

INFJ

    I have often felt the need to encourage someone who was during the driving school just because I knew how stressful it was for me and that I needed a lot of emotional encouragement. I have often felt the need to help random people on the street with carrying their luggage. I have often felt the need to go to random foreign people and ask them if they need help with directions because I imagined being in a foreigner country can be difficult. I knew that I am a good and empathic person and these traits were reasons for my helping feelings. I understood my feelings more after I took the personality test that I mentioned in the introduction, which concluded that I am INFJ. As I said firstly about this, these acronyms are not good or bad. We cannot change our personality. For example, I will never become an extrovert no matter how much social progress I make. I won't ever stop being an empath either, whether I like it or not.

Here is a definition about the INFJ personality type from the site I took the test:

"The Advocate personality type is very rare, making up less than one percent of the population, but they nonetheless leave their mark on the world. Advocates have an inborn sense of idealism and morality, but what sets them apart is that they are not idle dreamers. These individuals are capable of taking concrete steps to realize their goals and make a lasting positive impact. People with this personality type tend to see helping others as their purpose in life. Advocates can often be found engaging in rescue efforts and doing charity work. However, their real passion is to get to the heart of the issue so that people need not be rescued at all." (16personalities.com/infj-personality).

This must be the main reason I feel way happier when I give than when I receive, way happier to make another person happy than making myself happy. I mean, my biggest source of happiness is to know that other people are happy, and I created that happiness. Let's analyze a little the definition: let's talk about idealism. This suits me well, I consider myself an idealist. I have a definition of perfection. I know nothing or nobody is perfect, but perfection exists for me though and it means being the best a person or a situation can be with all their automatic flaws. Idealist people can be easily be seen as naïve and I understand the point. Is not like we are stubborn or too positive, we just truly believe things or people can be better. My mom often told me that world is not as perfect as I see it. Back then I could not explain myself clearly to make myself feel understood.

Now, let's see how morality affects my life. Well, I would never work in a place where profit is above people. I want to become a teacher, either of English or of German but I have to work a little bit more in the next three years to be one. I do not care about how much money I can make. I have some principles and I will respect them religiously. I simply cannot lie just to obtain a personal gain. In this wild world, this is a negative right, right? Probably, but I want to stay true to my morals. The world has too many selfish people anyway. Thanks to this test I found out why I am so frustrated and annoyed when I see commercials about unhealthy products or pills. Morality also makes me do my best in every situation. For example, I would never stay idle at work just because I can. I must respect my job. So far, the people with higher rank than mine appreciated the fact that I do not cheat with the effort. I cannot be a hypocrite and complain about people being lazy or bosses being bad people if I do not even do my job properly.

It should not be hard to spot the downsides of this personality if it involves helping other people as if you would help yourself, being idealist and having morals. These things can easily transform into not caring for your well-being enough, being naïve and missing some opportunities. These downsides can be very dangerous. It is nice and innocent when you can make other people happy but not everybody will appreciate your heart. You can give and give and give and neglect yourself to the point when you empty yourself. You give parts of yourself until you do not have enough for yourself to function and the pieces you gave cannot return. Somehow, you learn forced by contexts to regenerate yourself. Also, living in this greedy world and being aware of it cuts down the number of jobs you can feel yourself comfortable to do. I figured out that morals remain, but you can do jobs you never saw yourself doing by making progress in the fight against anxiety. I have always thought that I would have a job that involves human interactions, yet so far I have worked two different jobs at call-centers and I aspire to become a teacher. (I have already thought about how I would try not to stammer in front of my students). So, I can change my mind about jobs as long as they do not interfere with my morals. I had nothing against with working by talking often with people. I have just never thought that I could get so comfortable with my social anxiety to do so. I have a strong feeling though that I won't change my mind about some jobs. Talking with people for hours at a job having social anxiety represents progress meanwhile giving up the morals I talked about when it comes about jobs would make me a hypocrite.