Sonnets for Someones

aching

I've found more poetry from when I was trying to cope with a lot of the events that had happened to me during my junior year. It's interesting because I've gone through objectively worse things during my senior year, but I'm coping far better with them than the way that I had coped with the events from junior year. That's growth B^)

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When something like that happens to you, you question yourself

You wonder

You consider if you really deserved it

You debate internally as to why you were treated this way

You think that maybe you really are the monster you've been depicted as

And it hurts

You feel rotten

You wish you were someone else

You don't know why this happened to you of all people

And it hurts

It really does

Because this is a nightmare

They say the best way to confront your fears is to live them directly

But this is so niche

You tell someone that you're terrified 

Of the prospect that all the people you care about

Secretly hate you 

Secretly despise you

Secretly loathe you 

You're dismissed as paranoid

But when it actually happens?

What do you do from there?

It hurts

To have your fears confirmed

To realize that you're an easy target

To understand that you're an easily dislikable person

It stings it really does

So there lies the question

Where do you go from there?

People say that when you hit rock bottom the only way to go is up

But how do you get out

When the walls are curved

When there are no footholes

You simply have to wait for the rest of the world to come down with you