11: Strange New Feeling

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"What are you going to order?" asked Sara while looking at her Denny's Menu. "I think I might just order pancakes. I wanted eggs this morning, but eggs don't sound that great anymore."

"I'm not sure yet. I think I might also order pancakes"

My attention was barely on the menu and more on my glass of water that laid before me. Every time I took a sip, I heard a voice in my head announcing that I should die because it was my fault.

"We all ready to order?" asked a stressed-out waitress trying to find the pencil that was right in front of her.

Sara wasted no time in announcing what she wanted to order. And just like she said, she ordered pancakes. With the attention on me, I also ordered pancakes and switched out my water for Pomegranate Vitamin Water. The waiter left and Sara looked at me like she saw a ghost. Never would she have expected me to order her drink. We both looked at each other and laughed. Not a single word was exchanged.

"Sara?" asked a random guy walking by on his way to the bathroom.

Her face lit up and she stood up giving this person a hug. "Oh my gosh! Conner! It's been so long. How've you been? I literally haven't seen you in forever. Sit down with us for a bit."

Conner sat down with us and took a sip of Sara's Vitamin Water.

"Still drinking that Vitamin Water?" He took another sip. "This is good stuff. You know, I actually cut out Mountain Dew as a New Year's resolution. All I drink is Diet Coke now. Need to lose a few pounds."

Sara found herself laughing as her eyes made her way towards me. And she quickly realized that we had not been introduced. She introduced the both of us. Conner didn't seem all that interested in me and he found himself taking another sip of Sara's drink.

"How's your family been?" she asked while taking her drink back as I put an ice cube in my mouth.

"Oh, we are getting by. I'll admit, it takes a long time to get over the death of a brother like Tony, but I'm getting there." He took a pause and took yet another sip of her drink. "A shame that Tony is dead. The two of you would've made a perfect couple. I was really rooting for you guys."

Sara blushed, leaving me to pick up my napkin that held the silverware and dump it all out.

"Anyways, I think I've seen you around campus. More specifically, I saw you at the library on Monday and I wasn't sure if it was you, but I guess this confirms that it was you."

She laughed and finished her drink. "That was me! Oh my gosh, you should've said hi! We could've hung out or something."

His hand found itself on her shoulder. "There's still time," he sighed. Not a lot though. I'm going to graduate this spring."

And just like that, they continued talking to each other for the next hour. Not long after Conner sat with us, our order was delivered. Conner was smart enough to not eat her pancakes as he had already eaten. Sara wasted no time in eating her food. And for whatever reason, I had a hard time putting the pancake into my mouth. My fork reached the top of the pancake, but my eyes wouldn't allow me to anything more but watched the two of them talk. It took a few minutes to realize that I had not taken a bite and that I probably wouldn't. Guess I wasted my money. At least I had my Vitamin Water. Many small sips were taken. What was the appeal to this drink?

"Kill him, Jimmy," commanded that little girl voice in my head. "You killed me, might as well kill him. Pick up your knife and stab him."

The knife was in my hands with my eyes on Conner. Could it really be that easy? No. The voice in my head hated me. Not a good idea. The knife found its way back to the table. Not a moment too soon, I stood up from the table and headed to the bathroom. Once I got into the bathroom, I looked at myself in the mirror and washed my hands for a good minute.

"Sara hates you," announced that voice. "She has no interest in you. You should just die."

"Shut up!" I smacked my fist against the top of the sink and turned it off.

At that point, I was grateful that nobody else was in the bathroom. Taking a deep sigh, I walked out of the bathroom and found one of the exits making my way outside unto the cold. Was there anywhere else to eat? Right across the street, there was a small taco stand. A couple of tacos sounded good and I leaped across the street not paying attention to the possibility of any cars driving by.

"Three tacos please."

And just like that, I received my tacos and found myself sitting on a bench eating my delicious Mexican Food. Better than pancakes. A fourth taco wasn't out of the question. After ordering a fourth taco, I continued walking down the street wanting to make my way back to campus. My mind wondered what Roger was doing. Was he with Karla? Most likely. Hopefully, Karla would never meet Conner. It would be a bad day for Roger if that happened. It was sadly a possible scenario considering the fact that Conner went to our school. I could only imagine. Would Roger fight him back? He wasn't really the fighting type. Maybe he would just accept it and move on with his life. Probably for the best.

With all this thinking, I found myself standing in front of Barnes and Noble with my hand on the handle. Wow, did my subconscious lead me here? At least I still had my gift card. Might as well get something with the gift card.

"Jimmy!" shouted Sara before I entered Barnes and Noble. "Wait for me!"


Hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Don't forget to comment, vote, and share!

Should Jimmy be concerned about Conner?

Who is this Tony that Conner is talking about?

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