The Girl With Five Watches

14: Much Like Juliet

"Show of hands, how many of you feel that 'Romeo and Juliet' is one of the most ridiculous stories ever written? Asked our professor Joe.

Most of the students in the room raised their hand including me. Sara refrained from raising her hand.

"Most of you are pretty smart." The class lightly laughed. "If you're like me, you find it completely crazy that two teenagers would die for love. Romeo didn't even know Juliet that long. At best, Romeo had a sexual attraction to Juliet. And of course, Juliet also had a sexual attraction to him. So when you think about it, they were not in love, they were in lust." Some of the class found themselves giggling. "Now, considering that most everyone in this class is still a teenager, how many of you would say that you've been in love? I'm talking about a deep, passionate, true, romantic love." A quarter of the class raised their hand including Sara. "OK, how many of you have never been in love and at best felt a strong sexual attraction to someone that likely felt like love?" The rest of the class raised their hand with me included.

Sara looked at me in shock. "You've never been in love?" she quietly asked as if she'd seen a ghost.

Yes, it was true. I had never been in love. There were a couple of times where I was sexually attracted to a couple of girls and might have acted upon it, but that's a story for another time. Joe continued to discuss 'Romeo and Juliet' as he used his well thought out and constructed PowerPoint. It sounded like we would be doing some reading in the near future. During the lecture, that voice entered my head once again.

"Jimmy, you could never love anyone. Nobody could ever love you. Nobody!"

"Shut up," I quietly whispered hoping that not even Sara could hear me.

"No, you shut up. You're selfish. If Sara knew the truth, she would hate you. She would literally hate you. Anyone would hate you if they knew. Anyone."

My heart began to hurt as my head slowly developed throbbing pain. Everything inside of me wanted to randomly shout in front of the class, but the urge had to be resisted. Trying to resist that urge, my hands began shaking. Was it possible for them to stop shaking?

"Are you OK Jimmy?" Sara quietly asked as she took notice of what was happening.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Of course, I obviously wasn't fine.

"Why is Sara even sitting next to you?" continued the voice in my head. Do you plan on letting her die? You're a coward, aren't you? Even if she loved you, you couldn't love her. You couldn't save her if she needed saving. You can't even save yourself."

At this point, my hands, arms, and legs were shaking. The room began feeling hot and my head was sweating. What happened to all the air? I had to make it through this class. The voice in my head had to be ignored. What was the professor talking about? Was he still talking about 'Romeo and Juliet?' I could only assume that he was. At least he wasn't calling on us as my teachers did in high school. What time was it? Asking Sara for the time, I found out there were about ten minutes left of class. Screw it, I had to get out of there. I quietly made my way out of there. Once I found myself outside, I began running.

"You couldn't even make it through class? You're a coward!"

"Shut up!" I shouted. A couple of people around me took notice. "Get out of my head!"

After a few minutes, my feet led me to a deserted part of campus where a large fountain laid. It was the perfect solution. I needed water. And without any hesitation, I kneeled, putting my head in the water. This lasted a good twenty minutes until my body felt cold. Once it felt cold, I just sat there leaning against the fountain trying to find my breath. About another hour later, Sara found me.

"Jimmy! I found you!" She sat next to me and put her arm around me. "Something was going on with you during class. Are you sure your OK. You don't seem like it."

My headache slowly came back. A few tears left my eyes. "I don't know. Maybe I'm not fine."

Her arm was still around me. "What's wrong? You can tell me."

I wanted to tell her, but I couldn't tell her. She couldn't know. "I can't tell you, Sara. I wouldn't even know where or how to begin."

And without judging, she continued to sit with me in silence. It was a warm and comfortable silence that I hoped wouldn't end. Maybe we could be here all night and all day tomorrow.

"There you are!" shouted Roger with Karla right by his good side.

Sara stood up and helped me up with Roger hugging me.

"Is it happening again dude?" he asked. "Seems like it's getting worse."

"No, it's fine. I'll be fine."

We all began making the journey back to our dorm with nobody speaking. Once we got back, Roger forced me into bed and tucked me in. He claimed that I needed sleep knowing that I had barely slept last night. Lying in bed, I could hear their conversation from outside the dorm.

"Is there anything I can do to help him?" asked a concerned Sara.

"I don't know," claimed Roger. "I think he'll be fine, but we need to keep an eye on him."

Keep an eye on me? It was like I was some crazy patient. Maybe I really was a crazy patient.

Looks like things are starting to get real for Jimmy. Thank you all for reading! Don't forget to comment, vote, and share!

Do you agree with Professor Joe about 'Romeo and Juliet?'

Are you surprised that Jimmy has never been in love?

Is Jimmy going to be OK?