The Girl With Five Watches

31: Hard Things

What I did that night was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. It made the rest of the night long. At first, Karla didn't believe what I was trying to tell or show her. She even slapped me and used a couple of choice words. But it didn't take long for her to believe me. Once she believed me, she began laughing uncontrollably. It was a little uncomfortable as she picked up a cup on the counter and threw it against the wall. It was wasn't enough for her and she found herself picking up the remote and also threw that against the wall.

"Karla stop!" yelled Sara. "At least stop throwing everything against the wall."

She was able to stop. But Sara's words weren't enough for Karla to storm out of the dorm. Looking at Sara, we both knew where she was going and we both chased after her. That went without saying that Karla was pissed. Keeping up with her put the two of us out of breath. And just as Sara gave me a key to her dorm, Karla had a key from Roger. Karla wasted no time in waking Roger up. 

"Kim? Really? Kim! I can't even right now! I can't. Were you seriously sleeping with her?"

There was a lot of confusion on Roger's not so innocent face. And not a moment too soon, he was looking at my phone with the evidence that I had against him.

"Seriously Jimmy?" he shouted. "You had no right!" His face began turning red. "No right!" The distance between us was close. He was moments away from knocking the wind out of me.

"Shut up Roger!" she shouted. "You're the one who had no right?" Things quickly began to heat up between the two and regrettable words were used between them. Nothing was going to get solved that night. And the two of them only hurt each other all the more. It was pretty shocking that an RA hadn't intervened at that point.

Roger was the first one to storm out of the dorm that night. Who knew how things between the two would be from that point on? Once all the drama that night was over, Karla began sobbing uncontrollably in my arms.

"I don't understand," she claimed. "Why Kim?

There was no response from me as I continued to hug and comfort her. Sara just watched without any words. Giving me an uncertain look, she slowly walked out leaving the two of us alone on the couch.

The morning began approaching with the sun slowly coming up. Karla's crying was slowly coming to an end. One she finished crying, I was caught surprised by the kiss her lips gave my lips. It was a soft and slow kiss that lasted a good minute. At that moment, I let her kiss me only to kiss her back. Something inside of me couldn't control myself. Right before me was a broken girl who needed support. She needed love. What was wrong, felt right. Towards the end of the kissing, she began to put her hands inside my shirt and slowly felt my skin. Cold hard chills went down my spine and my mind was lost. From there, I pushed her body down on the couch and began to slowly take her shirt off while kissing each inch that laid under her shirt. With her shirt beginning to reach where her bra laid, I knew this had to stop, but how could I stop this? Seconds later, Karla pushed me against the couch and wasted no time in taking off my shirt. With my body numb, all I could do was breathe heavily with her soft kisses against my skin. Karla and I ended up both sitting on the couch with my palms on her shoulders with only seconds away from removing her bra. Everything in me was hungry for all of this.

"What choice are you going to make?" Dr. Parker's voice entered my ears.

Listening to the wise words of Dr. Parker, I thankfully was able to put an end to what was going on. But I'll admit, at that moment I was tempted to go all the way with Karla. She was emotional and all I wanted to do was give her comfort. It would've likely been the biggest mistake of my life. Likely worse than letting Emily die.

With all that was going on, the double date to the Mexican restaurant was obviously canceled. Roger wanted nothing to do with me. In fact, he pretty much avoided being at the dorm that following week. There were a couple of times I saw him around campus. During those couple of times, he was with Kim. And he wasn't afraid to make it clear that he was with her. During that same week, Sara kept her distance from me. I really wasn't sure what was going on with her. Was it possible that Karla told her about out little moment at the dorm? Karla wouldn't do that? Would she? She even kept her distance away from me during English. She literally sat at the opposite end from me.

...

"She didn't sit with me yesterday," I announced to Dr. Parker on Skype. "I thought I was doing the right thing. I almost wish I could've left things alone."

Dr. Parker took a deep sigh. "I understand what you're going through Jimmy. Don't ever regret doing what is right. Remember, sometimes doing the right thing can sometimes hurt, but the pain is always greater when you don't do what is right."

"OK, but Sara doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. You'd think she'd be proud of me. I don't understand."

"Yes, I did talk to her on Monday. Sara might avoid you for a little while, but that is because she's mystified right now. Karla and Roger meant a lot to her. According to her, if it weren't for them, the two of you would never have gotten together. But she does have a lot to figure out right now. So do you. Give her some time. In the meantime, I would highly recommend you visit Emily's grave this weekend. It just might be the medicine you need right now."

...

I hadn't been to the cemetery since the funeral. Once I arrived at her tombstone among the gloomy, dark, and empty cemetery, a flower was placed next to it. My eyes looked at her grave for about five minutes in silence. This felt all too real.

I hate you, Jimmy!" Emily cried that day at the zoo. "Why did you throw my hat to the javelinas?" I hate you!

That went without saying that mom was also angry with me. She didn't hesitate to spank me at the zoo. Once we got home, I sat in my room. After a lot of thinking, I went to my closet and pulled out my favorite hat and gave it to my sister. With a hug, she forgave me.

Kneeling down, I spoke. "I'm so sorry Emily. You don't know how hard this is for me. I wish you weren't dead. And I do hope that you're happy in Heaven. Is there a Heaven? I sometimes doubt it." I began laughing feeling a little weird. "Sara seems to have a better understanding of God." A brief pause was taken. "If you can hear me, I seriously hope you don't hate me."

My heart began to literally hurt along with my head. Breathing became hard. 

"Emily, do you remember how I threw your hat to the javelinas at the zoo?" I began laughing. "You were so pissed. I can't believe I did that. We had some good times, didn't we?"

At that moment, my shoulder felt a hand. With my heart jumping, I thought it was Emily, but in relief it was Sara. To make things better, she gave me a smile and kneeled down to talk to Emily.

"Hi Emily, I'm Jimmy's girlfriend Sara. I love him a lot. I'm sure you were a very sweet girl. It would have been nice to meet you. You have a very nice brother though. I'm sure you're happy for your brother. I know someday you'll see him in Heaven. I can't wait to someday meet you in Heaven. I know you love your brother and you forgive him. In a sick and crazy way, I would've never met him and fall in love with him if he died. I'm glad he's alive. I don't know what my life would've been like without him now. I love you, Emily." Tears left her eyes.

Once she finished speaking, there was a small breeze that blew against Sara's hair. We both knew it was Emily's hand touching down from Heaven with joy. So much joy.

That was quite a chapter! I'm sure glad Jimmy didn't go all the way. Thanks for reading! Don't forget to comment, vote, and share!

How are you feeling about Roger and Karla

Thoughts on that moment between Jimmy and Karla?

Was visiting Emily's grave a good thing?