Darkiplier x Reader One Shots

You Know I Don't Celebrate

Warnings: Did I cuss? I can’t remember… uh, Dork Jim, Dork Bing, Dork Dark. this is my Au so they’re all OOC.

You clutch a small, brown, paper package close to your chest as you made your way down the sidewalk. It was early morning on Valentine’s Day - no, it was early morning on your boyfriend’s birthday. Not that he cared for either occasion. As far as you knew Dark Iplier had not properly celebrated his birthday since he turned eleven. And in all your years of dating he never made a big deal about Valentine’s day.

“I don’t see the point.” He told you once as he held you close. “I don’t need a single day to treat you special - I want to do that everyday.” It had quite possibly been one of the dorkiest, sweetest things he’d ever said to you.

It was understandable that he didn’t enjoy his birthday after a childhood of disappointment from not only lack of gifts, but a lack of acknowledgement from his father and his mother (unless, of course, it pointed out by one of his siblings). It hurt your to know he grew up in such a toxic, uncaring environment. And you wished that you’d met him sooner - before all the bad things. You wish you had been there for him.

But it was in the past now. And now that you’d been together for so long without celebrating such a special occasion you were determined to at least give him a gift. You’d already argued with yourself for half an hour before pulling yourself out the front door of your apartment, there was no going back now. As you entered the Iplier Cafe you told yourself again and again that everything would be fine. He wouldn’t be mad. Maybe indifferent, but definitely not mad.

You weren’t half way into the shop when a voice rang from the other side of the counter

“And here we see an extraordinary creature - a (Y/N) - enter into a new, foreign habitat.” You searched for the culprit, shaking your head gently. “And in their hands seems to be… ah, a package! Yes, a package. You see it here folks.”

“Jim.” You hummed his name. “How do you think Joey and Dark would feel if they knew you were slacking off?” A tuft of black hair poked out, followed by a set of curious eyes.

“A vicious creature they seem to be.” He shrunk back as you approached the counter.

“Only one way to find out.” You smirked. Jim wasn’t able to react quickly enough and let out a squeak of surprise as you jabbed a finger onto the tip of his nose.

“It would seem they are aggressive!” Jim shot up to full height, placing both hands over his nose in mock agony. “I’ve been attacked!” You let out a short laugh, moving to duck under the counter. “And they’ve broken through my only defense! This is it folks, the last of Jim’s breaking news!” You were glad there were only a few regulars sitting among the mess of tables - other people might have found the situation strange. But some people just knew. “I’m going to die.” He choked out a mock-sob. You rolled your eyes, lowing the section of counter behind yourself so you could approach the youngest Iplier and hug him. Jim was one of the best huggers in the family - aside from Dark, of course (and Wilford).

“Happy Valentines day, Jimbo.” You could feel him cringe in your hold.

“Ew, no, no thanks, I’d prefer Jimmy over Jimbo.” He announced, now trying to pull away from your death grip.

“No, no, not till you say it Jimmy.” You teased him in a song-song voice. “Please?”

“Happy Valentines day! Now off with you!” He made a dramatic show of pushing you off, but you could see the goofy smile on his face. “You’re extra early today. Want your usual?” He motioned to the coffee maker behind him.

“Yes, please. Is Dark upstairs?” You asked as Jim got to work.

“As far as I know.” Jim said. “You wanna head upstairs and I’ll bring this to you once it’s done?” You nodded, walking over to place a gentle kiss on his cheek.

“You’re a doll, Jiminy Cricket.” You ignored the look of disgust on his face and made you way into the kitchen, where Brian was washing dishes - well, scrolling through his phone while he was supposed to be washing dishes. You snag his sunglasses off the counter and place them on your face. He jumped in surprise from the sudden attack before realizing it was only you.

“Bruh,” he groaned in frustration while running a hand over your face. “You can’t do that to a dude.”

“I already did, dude.” You tap him gently on the nose. “Happy Valentines Day.”

“Happy Singles Awareness Day, (Y/N).” He replied, plucking his glasses off your face and setting them back on the counter. He pulled you into a quick side hug before moving to the sink. “You won’t, uh, mention anything to Darkipoo about me slacking off?” He asked. You drew a finger over your lips.

“My lips are sealed.” Brian sighed in relief before starting on his work. You quickly made your way up the stairs to their apartment. It was, surprisingly, quiet. You figured Marcus and Arthur were out with their significant others - Joey might have even gotten the courage to ask out that one regular customer he had a crush on (and who you were positive shared his infatuation). But the fact that Wilford and Bim weren’t rushing around making last minute preparations for their significant others was a surprise - those two were notorious for last minute plans.

You brushed off the thoughts and wiggled your way into the living room where you found Dark relaxing with a book. You couldn’t get a good look at the book cover, but it didn’t matter much because as soon as he saw you he was placing it aside. He stood up and crossed the living room to meet you.

“Well, don’t you look nice.” He smiled, taking in your appearance. You’d put on your favorite outfit to help yourself feel more confident, but under Dark’s loving gaze you found your stomach filled with a swarm of butterflies. Your heart skipped a few beats as he leaned down to press a chaste kiss to your lips. “Special occasion?” You took in a deep breath, and blew it out through your nose.

“Valentines day?” You held up your gift, willing your hands to not shake. “My boyfriend’s birthday?” He eyes the package momentarily, and you were quick to start explaining yourself before he could say anything. “I know you don’t exactly enjoy celebrating either… But we’ve been together for… whoa, I’d say five years now. And it’s nothing big.” You turned it in your hands a couple of times. “But uh, yeah… Happy Birthday Dark… And Happy Valentines day.” There was a moment that you thought he might not take the gift - but your nerves settled down as he took the package in his hands.

He tore the paper away slowly, as if he were trying to savor the moment. And little by little, your gift was revealed - a sleek, black picture frame with your initials scratched into one corner and his in the other. The picture inside was one of the first you’d taken with Dark - it was a selfie where Dark could be seen hugging you from behind while pressing a soft kiss to your temple. Personally it was one of your favorite pictures.

You found yourself almost shaking as you watched him look over your gift with big eyes. He turned it over a few times, then set it down. You squealed in surprise when he seized your waist, lifting you up off the ground so he could spin a couple of times. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders tightly.

“Dark!” You exclaimed in surprise, laughing joyously. When he set your back on the ground, he pulled you into a long, deep kiss - the kind of kiss that left you breathless as he pulled away.

“Thank you my darling.” He left another soft kiss against the tip of your nose. The he hummed out a phrase you’d never really heard him utter before, that made the butterflies flutter around inside; “Happy Valentines Day.”