It's been two weeks since I last saw Ricky.
Ryan's pretty much moved in with me while the others all left after the first week. Ange went back to his wife and the others did whatever the hell they always do.
I was slowly slipping away, losing myself in the lies and losing my grip on reality. I didn't move anymore, I didn't sing I didn't eat. I didn't do anything anymore, I had no motivation.
Half the time, I wished I'd die in my sleep. It'd end the pain, at least. "Chris you can't keep doing this."
"Whatever." I mumbled, turning away from Ryan.
"Look, I get that your depressed, but why don't you write more songs? It'll make you feel better."
"Ricky helped me write songs..." I muttered, turning to face him with lifeless, dead eyes.
"Well, I'll help you. Come on." I groaned and climbed out of bed, buttoning my jeans up and following Ryan downstairs. He lead me outside and to the room I'd built for band practise...and Ricky.
We went inside and I sat down on one of the leather chairs, keeping my eyes on a spot on the wall while Ryan grabbed one of his guitars and tuned it quickly. He plugged the amp in and connected the guitar to it before giving it a strum.
I watched as he started playing the melody line for Reincarnate, trying to lose myself in the music. "I know what I wanna do."
"What?"
"Cover one of Escape the Fates new song, Let it go."
"Then let's do it. I'll call Vinny, TJ and Ghost and we'll do it."
I nodded and cracked half a smile while Ryan quickly called them and relayed the message before hanging up. "Dev's gonna pick TJ and Vinny up, and grab her bass from Mike's. They'll be here in about twenty minutes so you might wanna have a shower."
"Can't be bothered." I said in the lifeless voice that ended up becoming my permanent voice at this point in time. "I think you need to move house, and start again."
"Probably."
"But?" Ryan prompted.
"I don't want to. I have a life here, it's a shit one, but it's still a life." Ryan sighed and shook his head at my words, muttering about he can't win with me before he started playing the lead for Devils night.
Soon, Vinny, TJ and Dev walked in and said hi before setting up their equipment. "Why's TJ here?"
"To fill in for Ricky." I looked down at my bare feet and nodded once. "Did you ever manage to find his ring?"
"Didn't bother looking." I mumbled, sitting back and staring at the ceiling. Dev put her bass down and walked over to me, lightly placing her hand on my knee so I'd look at her. "Chris, honey, have you tried going to therapy?"
"No..." I whispered, fighting another tear. She looked at me with sad eyes before they widened and glinted. "I know what I'm going to do. After we've rehearsed, I'm going somewhere and nobody except Ryan can come."
"Kay." The others glanced at me and nodded before they started warming up.
"Let's start with City Lights." I muttered, standing up and grabbing my microphone. Dev shook her head and tapped me. "Let's do cobwebs instead. After we'll do Sinematic okay?"
"Fine." I muttered before we started playing the songs. After Sinematic, Dev packed her bass away and left with Ryan. TJ and Vinny stayed to keep my company and make me feel better.
(Dev's pov)
"Ryan hurry up." I said softly, opening my car door and slipping into the drivers side. Ryan muttered something before copying my actions and soon we were driving in the direction of Ricky's new apartment.
"Where are we going Dev?"
"To see Ricky. I've seen him once and that was when I was helping him move in two weeks ago." Ryan glanced sideways and shrugged before sighing.
"He's a mess Dev. I don't know how much longer I can stop him from falling apart, I really don't."
"Same here. I don't know how Ricky's coping but I don't think he's doing well." Well, I hoped he wasn't.
I needed to try and convince Ricky to give Chris a much needed second chance, but how? Would I even be able to convince him to give Chris another chance?
"This is all fucked up. Chris didn't cheat on Ricky and he didn't fucking know about the kid, that's not his fault."
"He was told she was pregnant Ryan, so part of him must've known. He should've told Ricky when they got back together or he should've found out if she really was pregnant first."
"You have a good point but think about it, isn't this a bit of an overreaction? The bands gonna fall apart, look at that practise today. It's just not the same without Ricky. And what would we tell the fans?"
"I don't know Ryan, I don't know." I said before we pulled up outside of Ricky's new house.
"Come on." I mumbled before switching the car off and climbing out. Ryan followed me to the door as I locked the car and knocked.
