Ricky opened the door looking absolutely fucking exhausted.
He looked like he hadn't slept in about a month, his hair was a mess, he looked pale and skinny, it didn't suit him. "Dev...Ry. What a nice surprise." He yawned before stepping back to let us in.
The house was a fucking mess. Ryan locked eyes with me, mirroring my disgust. "How have you been?"
"Great. Fantastic, even." He said with the fakest smile I had ever seen, sitting down on the sofa.
"Where are the kids? And are you gonna let Chris see them?" Ricky noticeably tensed up at the mention of Chris' name. "Probably not. They're not his kids are they."
"You fucking what? Ricky, he helped you raise those goddamned kids from the start, you know he did. How many nights did he sit there wide awake while you was asleep Ricky!?" Ryan growled, losing his temper quicker than I thought he would.
"I want you to go. Both of you. I don't want to talk about Chris, not now and not ever. I hate him, I fucking hate him. I'm quitting the band, now fuck off."
"Don't be like that with me Ricky, please don't."
"Fuck. Off." Ricky growled, pointing at the door.
Ryan slammed his fist into the wall, making the kids scream before he stalked out, with me quickly following. "How can he say something like that!? Chris treated those kids like his own, how can Ricky even have the fucking nerves to say anything like that!?" Ryan spat, ranting about how stupid and wrong Ricky was being until we were back at Chris'.
(Ryan)
I walked inside after saying goodbye to Dev and sighed when I saw Chris sitting on the floor in the corner, staring at the wall like he was mesmerised.
"Chris? Are you okay?"
"Fine I'm fine fine fine." He said with his voice slurring and the most stupid smile on his face id ever seen. "Are you drunk?"
"Who cares." He said laughing like He'd just heard the funniest joke in the world.
"Chris...you need to chill out a bit."
"Or fucking what? What else can I possibly lose Ryan?" I saw the hopelessness in his eyes and I felt a wave of hate towards Ricky and Chris. If he'd told Ricky none of this would've happened.
"You're being pathetic right now. I honestly don't even know if I can class you as a friend right now. You don't bother with us, you don't give a shit about anything anymore. It's fucking pathetic, you need to grow up and move the fuck on. He hates you because you hurt him, and I'm starting to feel the same way because you're a selfish, stubborn jackass."
"You what? Hang on. You saw him...that's where you and Dev went!" He said with realisation in his eyes. "And so fucking what?"
"I don't want you and Dev leaving me for him..."
"Oh please. Shut the fuck up and message me when your gonna act like yourself again." I said, glaring at Chris before I turned on my heel and left his house, slamming the door shut behind me.
I probably shouldn't have left him because he was showing signs of depression, but fuck, I couldn't deal with him acting like that for much longer.
(Ricky)
Chris.
God I missed him, I did. But he should've told me that there was a possibility that he was the dad of some random girl after fucking some random chick when we went on a break.
But, he didn't. And now look at what happened, I've lost my husband, and my children lost their dad. It wasn't hard to see that I was depressed, I mean I was clearly letting the depression eat me away from the inside out.
I fucking hated him for what he did, but I still loved him for everything that happened during those 11 years. Dani kept screaming "Dada" and I didn't know how much longer I could keep them away from Chris.
I mean his name is on their birth certificates, so he does have parental rights over them so it would be cruel not to let him see them, right? I groaned and grabbed my phone before I called Ryan.
"Ricky."
"I'm sorry. I'm just...hurting and I shouldn't have snapped, you was right to be pissed off."
"It's fine. Me and Chris had a slight falling out, I guess you could say."
"Why? What happened?"
"I just got annoyed because he's drinking his sorrows away pretty much Rick." I felt my heart clench at his words, worrying about Chris instantly. "I'm worried about him..."
"Same here Ricky, same here." He sighed, making me feel even worse.
"I'm thinking about letting him see the kids..like me going over there with them so he can see them..."
"That's up to you Ricky. But I know you aren't going to do that for the kids. Or for Chris. Your doing it for yourself, because you still love him."
"...you're right, I do." I whispered softly.
