Sometimes, I wondered what it was exactly about Ricky that I adored so much.
Maybe it was the sparkle in those fucking blue eyes. Oh his eyes, they're the prettiest eyes I've ever seen, and I've seen loads. God this sounds weird.
My thoughts were always centred on Ricky, regardless of the thought. For example. "I want pizza."
"But Ricky doesn't like pizza. Fuck, he's amazing."
Probably a side effect of being in love, but who knows. He was at the shop, buying some of the last minute essentials we needed for the kids second birthday party. I was kinda worried, considering everything that'd happened last time.
But, Nick wasn't coming, neither was Gaia.
So it's pretty damn likely that nothing as drastically bad as last time would happen. There's always a chance, though. Ricky walked in, dropping the bags on the floor with a groan.
I walked to the door and pressed my lips to his, shutting the door before pinning him against it with my lips against his urgently. His fingers tugged on my hair, urging me to do something. I went to, I grabbed his hips and pulled him against me when Damian screamed. I pulled back from Ricky and ran upstairs.
Damian never screamed like that.
I was overreacting, I found that out as soon as I burst into the room and cradled him in my arms. "Aww is my poor little baby in a cuddly mood?" I cooed, lightly stroking his cheek.
He giggled loudly with his chubby little legs flailing around. "Dada!"
"Whose a cutie then hm? Whose daddy's cutie boy?" He kept giggling, louder this time.
I couldn't stop the smile from growing on my face either. He was so fuckin' adorable. Ricky appeared from nowhere, resting his head on my shoulder, and his arms around my waist.
I yelped in shock, which made Damian start whimpering and crying. "Ah fuck."
Ricky moves and grabbed Damian, talking to him in a baby voice. "Awwwh, my little baby boy."
I rested my head on top of Ricky's and smiled, looking at our son in his arms. We've came so far in such a short time, it didn't seem real. "We're going with...Gaia next week, to the clinic."
His smile dropped from his face and he quickly laid Damian down in his play pen. "You seriously have the worst timing, babe."
"I just wanted to tell you before I forgot. Are you staying in the band?"
"Obviously, But what's gonna happen with these two darlings?"
"I'm sure Angelo won't mind babysitting, neither will Devin or Josh. So don't worry so much about it, my love."
He raised his eyebrow before sighing, walking over to me and resting his head on my chest. "I'm scared..."
"Same here. But there shouldn't be anyway in hell that she's mine. I feel bad for her, she's so young...so fucking young."
Ricky pulled away with a sceptical look in his eyes. "What if she is yours?"
"Then I'll either give up my parental rights, or try to take her off of Gaia and raise her as our daughter. Whichever one you want, I'll do it."
He bit his lip and turned away, running his left hand through his hair. "What's wrong, My Ricky?"
"If she is your daughter...then...I want you to take Gaia to court and get Lilia off of her. It isn't fair for her.."
I wrapped my arms around him from behind and rested my head on his shoulder. "You're too nice, love. You know that, don't you?" He rolled his eyes before resting his head against mine, lightly holding my hands with his eyes closed.
"I'm...sorry. I shouldn't have lied about the divorce thing. To tell you the full truth, I didn't want to. I didn't want to get divorced, but..I don't know. I just said it because I wanted you to hurt the same way I was."
"Oh, Ricky, love, I was. I understand how you feel, I really do. I'm sorry too, I should've told you. God, I keep repeating myself, but it's true. I'm sorry I kept it from you, but I didn't think...it was only a one night stand and I just.." I broke off with a frustrated sigh.
Ricky opened his eyes and turned around so he was facing me, with his arms resting lightly on my shoulders. "Chris. You need to calm down, okay? Our kids are two tomorrow. And as you've said, many, many times. The past is the past. So don't get trapped in the past, not again."
I looked into his endless blue eyes and found myself nodding. I knew what he said made sense, at least. With him by my side, I could do anything.
"I fucking love you so much." I murmured, pressing my lips to his softly. He laughed before mimicking my actions, snuggling into me with a smile. "Shall we go get some sleep then, baby?"
Ricky pulled away with his lip in between his teeth, and a contemplating look on his face. "What?"
"I don't wanna sleep."
"What do you wanna do then, Ricky?" I said softly, pulling him against me suggestively. "I honestly don't know. Maybe watch a film?" I hummed and nodded, sinking onto the sofa with him in my lap.
I handed him the remote and watched as he put some random film on, snuggling up to me when the film started. All I could think about was how perfect my life was at that point in time.
