She

Chapter 21 - Y/Ns story

Back to your POV:

The whole room burst into a round of applause and cheering as Jodie and I kissed for the first time in public. It felt so good, to finally get it out there. I was crying and probably looked a complete mess, but I didn't really care. Jodie, my eight-year obsessive crush, loved me. Me.

'That okay?' she whispered, our heads together.

'Definitely.'

'I love you so much, Y/N L/N.'

'Love you too, Jodie Whittaker.' I breathed.

'Still shocked you get to say it huh?' Jodie giggled.

'Yeah. You don't realise how much you've helped me, through everything.'

'Everything?'

'Yeah.'

'Wanna talk about it sometime?'

My mind flashed back to all the times I'd needed her, and she'd practically saved my life by being in a photo or video. All the stress, all the depression, all the harm I'd done to myself...

'Maybe.' I finished, putting a smile back on my face.

'Okay then.'

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Later, Jodie and I went for a nighttime walk around San Diego. We walked side by side, our arms around each other, chatting and occasionally laughing.

'So, tell me what this 'everything' was then.' Jodie asked. I stayed silent for a few moments more, not sure where to start. There was so much.

'Okay.' Here goes nothing.

'When I was eighteen, whole eight years ago now, I watched your film, Venus. It was quite old then, but I needed a film that would make me happier, so I found it and watched it. And, as any eighteen year old might, I fell in complete love with you.'

'A year later, Broadchurch came out. As soon as I saw you were acting in it, I knew I had to watch it. I sat and cried through every episode of every series. When I watched you, it felt like you were talking to me, which felt so....fantastic. If only you knew what was happening, I thought.'

'Around the same time, Micheal became my boyfriend. Not my work, my friends. I was still, still upset over my parents leaving too, which made the situation even worse.'

'Micheal used to hit me, hard, and come home drunk, even though he was the same age as me. Sometimes he would hit so hard I would bleed a little. I have a couple of faint scars, but nothing much.'

'I would feel worthless, like absolutely no one wanted me in the world. I felt confused, and began questioning the whole idea of life, different realities etc. This made me so anxious, so much so that some days I didn't leave my room. For a week I didn't leave the house unless it was for drama school.'

'After a few years of that shit, I gave up. This was....' I stopped, trying not to choke.

'This was this time last year.'

'Nearby I knew there was a lake with a bridge, so I put on my heaviest clothes and headed there. As I stood, looking at the lake, I remember getting a notification on my phone from Twitter. I followed Mandip at the time, and she had just posted a photo of you behind the scenes. That photo of you changed my mind.'

Jodie sniffed and got closer to me, clearly upset. 'Sorry, I'm just asking for sympathy here.' I laughed bitterly. 'No need to feel sorry for me.'

'Well tough, 'cause I do.' Jodie replied. Her head now rested on my shoulder, and I could tell from her expression that her eyes were closed. Our breathing was in sync, strengthening our connection.

'I'm so happy you didn't...you know. And so happy it was me that stopped you. If you hadn't been here, I wouldn't know what to do with myself!' Jodie laughed.

I looked back ahead, laughing too, but gasped. I quickly grabbed Jodie's hand and her head snapped up to join my gaze.

'Just carry on walking, Y/N.' she told me quietly. We did, but I couldn't resist glancing at Micheal and his gang as we walked over. He glowered at me with a wretched grin on his face. I looked away, calming my breathing again.

We didn't know where we were, and we had somehow gone down an alleyway. We couldn't let him know we were lost, or I knew from experience that he would strike.

'Let's take a right, completely out of instinct.' I said.

'Good idea.'

We continued, now out the alleyway. A car zoomed past, making me jump, but Jodie squeezed my hand, which made me immediately calm down.

'You alright?' Jodie asked as soon as we were safely out of ear shot.

'Yeah, just.....you know.'

'Yeah. C'mon, let's head back. They're probably wondering where on Earth we are.'