Frank Iero and the Meaning of Life

Chapter Seventeen - Life of Crime

Poison and I fell out of the portal and tumbled onto cold, hard concrete while completely drenched. I gasped for air and coughed up a little bit of water as I lay hunched over the ground on my hands and knees; then, after I panted for a few seconds, I rushed over to Poison in a panicked frenzy.

"Poison!" I shouted. "Say something!"

He gave no reply, so I flipped him over and saw that he looked completely unconscious. I then quickly checked his pulse, and to my relief, he was still alive; after that, I put my ear to his chest.

"Just hang on, buddy," I said as I turned his head to the side. "Jesus, I hope this whole 'Stayin' Alive' thing works."

I did a couple chest compressions over and over again; I hoped and prayed to god that poor Poison would wake up. I briefly panicked and thought that I was going to lose him...even worse, I thought it was going to be all my fault.

Then, after an excruciatingly painful minute, he woke up and coughed up some water. I breathed a sigh a relief as he sputtered and gasped for air; he then grabbed my arm and panted heavily.

"Just take it easy," I said. "It's just me, buddy. Just breathe nice and slow, okay? You're going to be alright."

He closed his eyes for a couple of seconds and took in a few deep breaths. "You okay?" I asked. "Come on, Poison. Say something. Anything."

"The Phoenix Witch says hi," he muttered.

I scooped him up and hugged him tightly; I just couldn't believe that he was alive and okay.

"Frank," he grumbled, "please, back off. I need to breathe."

I quickly let go of him and checked to see if he was injured. "I can't believe I did it," I said. "You're alive! Oh my god, you're actually alive! I thought you were gone for good, and I..."

I started to tear up like a little baby, but I held them back and tried to stay tough.

"Please don't tell me you had to do mouth-to-mouth," said Poison.

I shook my head. "Nope," I said. "But I would've. No homo or anything."

"You're a nutcase," said Poison. "But...you went back to save me. Why...why did you do that? You could've drowned..."

"What?" I said, "would you have preferred it if I abandoned you like a pussy and left you to die? Look, man. I may be stupid, but I'm not heartless. Or a pussy. And, ha-ha, oops, I care about you."

He seemed a bit bewildered for some reason, but he smiled softly. "Thank you," he said. "You don't have to be sarcastic about it. That was incredibly brave." This time, he took me in his arms and hugged me; I held him close and didn't want to let go.

"Don't ever scare me like that again," I said.

He reluctantly let go of me and nodded. "I promise I won't," he said. "Same goes for you, too. Don't go around almost dying, please. Life's been stressful enough already."

He then glanced down at my leg and looked worried. "You're hurt," he said as he got a little closer to inspect it.

I looked down at what he was pointing at, rolled up the pant leg, and saw a nasty cut on it. "Don't touch it," I said as I jerked it away from him.

"Don't worry," he said. "I'll get help. There's not much I can do about it right now."

A cold breeze whipped by us and chilled me to the bone; the fact that I was still absolutely drenched did not help at all. I shivered a little and wrapped my arms around my own body, but it didn't make it any better.