Frank Iero and the Meaning of Life

Chapter Nineteen - Surf's Up

The three of us stepped into a chilly, pitch-black forest with nothing but a very early morning sun to illuminate the pine trees. Both the faint smell of leftover rain and smoke lingered in the air, and a few traces of what remained of the overcast clouds traipsed across the sky and steadily revealed a couple of dim stars. After we carefully searched the area for a few minutes, we came across a fallen tree that appeared to be severely burnt on its side; after I saw it, I knew that we were in the right fic. I drew my ray gun and handed it to Poison out of fear, but there appeared to be no siren noises wailing in the distance.

"Is this your fic?" said Priest Gerard.

I silently nodded, and we made our way over to the dirt road.

As we carefully treaded down the road, I noticed a couple of large, strange tracks in the mud; then, just beyond the trees, the cabin appeared. Or, at least, what was left of it. Poison picked up the pace, ran over to the door, and knocked on it a couple of times; I noticed that almost half the garage was gone, and the strong smell of smoke wafted from within it. Vampire Frank reluctantly answered the door and only opened it up a little bit to peek out at us.

"It...it's you two!" he said, looking surprised. "You guys are alive!"

He opened the door to us, and the three of us entered the living room. The cabin was definitely a mess before, but now it just looked as if a nuclear bomb went off inside of it. All of the comic books and figurines lay scattered all over the floor, some of them looking half-burnt; what remained of the furniture also looked like they were partially fried. The window near the tv had a hole blown in it, and what was left of the glass shards were strewn all across the floor.

"Who's this new guy?" said Vampire Frank. "And how the hell are you two not dead?"

"We jumped into a Revenge fic," I said, "and they showed us the resistance group they were a part of. If it weren't for them, we'd probably be stranded forever...this right here is a priest Gerard from another supernatural AU. He's here to help us modify two new bands so we can get back to Wattpad and out of your hair."

"Nice to meet you," said Priest Gerard as he extended a hand to Vampire Frank.

However, Vampire Frank's eyes widened, and he quickly backed away from him.

"Is something wrong?" said Priest Gerard.

"Get the hell away from me!" hissed Vampire Frank.

Priest Gerard glanced down at the cross around his neck and chuckled. "Oh," he said, "I'm sorry! I forgot that there are two vampires in this fic." He then took the necklace off and tucked it away in a pocket.

"Where are the others?" said Poison. "Please tell me that they're okay."

"They're hidin' out in the woods," said Vampire Frank. "The only people here are me, Gerard, Mikey, and Ray. While you two were having your little adventure, we've had to lie our asses off to the police about you and your whole team being dead. Much to our surprise, those dumbasses actually bought that we ate everyone, but there's a damn good chance they might come back to this fic to investigate us again. The good news is, Ray finally finished fixing your weird car, so all we gotta do is find your team so you guys can get the hell out of here."

"I'm really sorry about this," I said. "I'm sorry that we barged in on your fic and fucked everything up so badly. We didn't mean it, honest. All of us owe you four a lot for letting us stay here. If you need anything, just let me know. God knows I owe you guys a damn good favor."

"Hey," said Vampire Frank, "don't worry about it. You guys may not be my Gerard or Mikey or Ray, but you're still a part of the team. We gotta look out for each other, y'know? Now, let's go find your friends! They're probably freezing their asses off out there."