Frank Iero and the Meaning of Life

Chapter Twenty-Two - Rebels Without a Cause

I watched Bert disappear up the stairs and walk out of the Under Line station; I wandered back over to the restrooms with some of his words still lingering in the back of my head. Before I had much time to think, however, Poison approached me with a melancholy look in his eyes.

"Did he chew you out?" he asked.

"No," I said. "He just wanted to talk."

"Well then," he said. "Are you ready?"

I gazed down at my bootleg band and pulled up the password that I had already typed. I hesitated to open up the portal for a moment, and my finger just barely hovered above the band. However, after a little consideration, I finally tore open a portal in the wall and looked over at Poison.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked.

"Yes," I said. "Absolutely."

"I'll be right behind you."

The two of us took a deep breath and slowly walked into the howling portal. When we stepped out the other side, we noticed that whatever cave we ended up in looked pretty similar to Priest Gerard's resistance group. A dense, cold air sat upon the cave, and the only source of light that illuminated the rocks came from a small building with neon-orange lights. I felt a bit nervous upon seeing it, but I sucked up my fear and went over to the front door.

I gave it a swift knock, and a Pete Wentz answered it. "Who the hell are you two?" he growled. "How did you find this place?"

"I used a bootleg band, sir," I said politely.

"How'd you get a password?"

"A Bert told me."

"Bert...? I haven't seen him in a long time...uh, come in."

We stepped inside the small building and saw a couple of odd things; a holographic map of the Hub hung on the wall, and a couple of people sat around a smooth, white table with another map glowing from its surface. To the right was a small kitchen, and in the back were some individual rooms. A couple of futuristic-looking guns hung on the wall next to the holographic map, and a large rack of knives stood across from it.

"Heads up, everybody," said Pete. "We've got new recruits."

Suddenly, the people at the table stopped talking and all stared up at us. Patrick got up from his seat at the head of the table and took off his rather fancy pair off sunglasses; he wore a tuxedo and looked about ready to attend a wedding.

"Well, would ya look at that," he said. "Looks like we've completed the trinity."

The others began to snicker a little bit, and I didn't quite get the joke. I then noticed that a Brendon Urie sat at the back of the table and looked like he was having a real good time. "What a load of bullshit," he chuckled. "Who the hell even lumped our three bands together in the first place?"

"Tumblrinas," said Andy. "It's always Tumblr, I tell ya."

"If it weren't for them," said Brendon, "I wouldn't even be here. Y'know that Ryan I was talking about from that high school AU? Well, he and his Brendon almost got evicted by the police and moved to the goddamn Pop Pavilion. If Tumblr didn't stick to their emo trinity guns, I would've been kicked out. The world's gone crazy, I'm telling ya."

Patrick walked up to me and extended a hand. "Welcome to the resistance," he said. "The name's Agent Stump. We're one of many groups, but we get the job done...and...wait a minute. You wouldn't happen to be the Frank, would you?"

"If by the Frank, you mean the Frank that's been all over the news? Then, yes," I said.

"Are you serious?" said Patrick.