Nightmares

Chapter sixteen: Harper

I rang Carter. I needed to go outside, needed to see the darkness and the stars one more time.

"Yeah?" His voice greeted me, not riddled with sleep, but coherent and clear.

"What you doing?" I asked him.

"Drawing, why?"

"I'm bored."

"I'll be ten minutes." He said, before hanging up.

He didn't mess around. Ten minutes later, I saw a face pop up outside, he raised his sapphire eyes, that looked black against the night, and little stones started hitting the window. I opened it up just before he threw the next one.

"Who are you? Romeo? Give me a second and I'll be down. And stop throwing stones, you'll break the glass." I hissed at him, with a smile.

He grinned back at me and waited whilst I crept down the stairs and out of the house. It made me feel like one of the teenagers in a book, sneaking out. I didn't do that very often. I was late home often, but I never snuck back out. I was more than a bit scared of being caught, to be honest. I imagined what I would say to Dad if he popped his head out of his door now,

I swear I'm just going to the bathroom.

In your clothes?

It's cold out here you know!

I had to bite my lip to stop a chuckle from escaping.

Slipping the key in the lock, I opened the door quietly and slipped out, locking it again silently behind me. Carter poked his head out of the bushes where he had been waiting, giving me a killer smile. I smiled back.

"Stones, really?" I raised an eyebrow.

He shrugged. "Worked, didn't it? And I assumed you wouldn't want me to ring your doorbell and wake your parents up."

"True." I said, lighting up a cigarette. "Want one?"

He took one. "I should quit." He said, with a shrug before lighting up.

"Me too." I said, taking another breath.

He laughed.

"What?"

"I just can't picture you smoking." He said with a chuckle.

I smirked. "I'm a woman full of surprises." I informed him.

"I noticed." He said, raising an eyebrow and taking a puff of his cigarette.

We smoked companionably for a moment or two.

"So what do you want to do?" Carter asked after a minute.

I shrugged. "I just needed to get out of the house." I replied.

He turned to me with a mischievous smile. He stubbed out his cigarette and I copied him, wondering what he was up to.

"Want to see how the darkness can be yours?" He asked.

I raised an eyebrow and took his extended hand.

We set off into the darkness, and I wondered at the chilly mystery that awaited us. But I didn't want to snap Carter out of his zone too early. I was still worried about how well he really knew his world. The night was his world, the day was mine. And I was so afraid of getting lost in his world, the way he felt lost in mine. He caught my eye and smiled, and I found myself smiling back at him.

But what if we made our two worlds collide? Would we know our way around, or would we be trapped in a maze we couldn't find the exit to forever?

"Look at that." Carter said suddenly.

"What?" I asked, with a smile.

Scooting closer to me, he pointed to the sky.

"See that bright star over there? He asked.

I followed his hand, trying to see what he was showing me.

"Yeah." I said focusing on it.

"Now do you see those stars coming off it, sloping downwards?"

"Yeah." I replied.

"That's the big dipper, if you follow the bottom star in a box shape, you'll see the handle."

Taking my hand, he outlined the stars for me, and I focused on the constellation.

"Wow." I said, softly.

"And you see those three stars there?" He pointed to them.

"Orion's belt?" I asked, remembering something Dad had once told me.

"Yeah." He said.

We stayed there for a while, pointing out constellations and whispering in the dark. I felt his eyes on me once or twice but just stayed staring at the stars, imagining his eyes twinkling in the dark. I wondered what it would be like to be able to read him as easily as he read the stars. He was so distant, his thoughts always hidden away. I wondered what it would be like to find out what he was like under the mask he showed the world. The one that prevented people from seeing his pain.

But I wasn't one hundred percent sure I wanted to find out what was beneath the mask. What if his scars made me want to hide? It wasn't that I thought his scars would make me run away. But I didn't want him to think that it was a bad thing to show them. But what if I couldn't handle it? What if I couldn't handle the reasons he kept his mask in place and carried a knife wherever he went? What if his secrets were too much for us both to handle?

What if we couldn't be there for each other the way I wanted us too?

The way I imagined he probably wanted us too as well.

Maybe I was reading too much into things, we both had our secrets. Both had our regrets. And if I wasn't ready to share mine, how could I expect him to share his? Neither of us could fight our demons alone, but what if letting the other in made our worlds crumble further?