Nightmares

Chapter twenty-nine: Harper

We sat in silence for a while. I was absorbing everything he had told me and was starting to realise that he had more secrets than it seemed.

I guess he was right to distrust strangers. I sighed. I should tell him. It wasn't fair to keep it from him any longer.

"Carter?" I paused, hesitant to go on.

Turning to face me, we locked eyes. I shouldn't be scared to tell him this. It was just what made me, me. But I guess the fear of rejection was nibbling the edges of my subconscious.

He scooted closer to me and put an arm around my shoulder. He didn't say anything; and I got the feeling he didn't want to rush me.

"Remember that day I was crying?" I asked him.

"The first day we met? Unofficially?"

"Yeah." I told him. "God I must have looked crazy."

He gave a tiny smile but didn't deny it.

"Well I was crying because, it seems so silly now, but I was crying because I couldn't remember where I was meeting a friend." I smiled a little.

He just nodded.

"But it wasn't just that I was really crying about. I had a seizure earlier that morning. It just annoyed me that I couldn't even remember where to meet a friend for a drink." I sighed.

"Seizure?" Carter asked, confused.

I just nodded. "I'm an epileptic."

He blinked at me.

"Epilepsy is a disorder that causes seizures and fits." I explained.

He nodded slowly.

"I know there is nothing I can do about it. But I like order in my life because of it. Ever since I was little, I enjoyed knowing everything was going as smoothly as possible. I was punctual, neat. Everything was ordered, colour-coded, in alphabetical order. Everything was organised. As if somehow that could make up for the fact that my mind would make my body go out of control." I sighed. "And it just bothered me that people would mess it up."

I looked at the ground. I hardly told anyone this. And the fear of rejection was now swaying in my stomach making me feel nauseous.

Carter squeezed my shoulder and I leaned into him. Grateful for the silence.

"We'll get through this together, babe." He told me. "We will."

"Babe?" I said raising an eyebrow.

He shrugged. "I thought girls liked being called that?"

I chuckled. "It's not bad."

We stayed like that for a while. And I wondered if he would be brave enough to stay once he saw the mess I was underneath. I hoped so. I hoped he'd stay. I could only hope he didn't leave me like he did.

Thanks for being so patient, honestly I have no reason for the late update except for the fact I totally forgot to update this chapter, I wrote it a couple of days ago and proofread it, but I never posted it.  I'll update again next week. 

Anyway, how have you all been? 

K