Behind My Eyes

Pulling Tides

An undertone of waves washing over one another,
flicking white foam from the tide.
Spraying the air with it's salty breath.
I write these words to block out all thought of you.
The moon high, proud, strong.
It's gravitational pull making the ocean move in a way that only the sound of a cello could describe.
The night sky beyond me, God beyond me.
The plants floating on a violent water.
Nothing short of unknown demons lying below the surface.
I can't help but to explore the dangers of those depths as my minds again turns to you.
Do you think of me also?
I wasn't even able to prepare myself for you leaving,
Just as I'm not able to focus on the poem I was supposed to write for this book.
Now you're gone from me.
It's eating me inside out.
I want to apologize, to hug you.
I want you to stay.
I want to see you.
I losing interest in thinking about anything else.
Torturing myself.
How could I even have the audacity to write beautiful words about an ocean and it's moon, when you've showed me just how ugly I am on the inside.
Maybe it's selfish, but I need you to forgive me.
To see my point of view.
I pray for you to show up somewhere in all this mess,
So I can tell you what I never told you.
Show you what I've never showed you.
So I can see a smile and say goodbye properly.
End things on a good key-
with no underlying creatures waiting to surface above me.
No whales to blow a breath of forgotten things or sadness.
I just want peace.
I want to only think of happy memories.
These tides can't be pulled hard enough.
This moon could never shine bright enough on a stupid screen...
A piece of paper.
I could be okay with you leaving, really I could...
But there's a big part of my mind always surfacing to remind me that I just want my friend back.
Fuck this fake moon.
I want tell you how much you mean to me.
Would that ever be enough to bring you back for a day?