Façade<Lashton>

26 - The Mean Streets

The time you feel lonely is he time you most need to be by yourself. ~Douglas Coupland

Luke's POV

I walked down the road, I think I had been for at least an hour, considering the sun was beginning to set on the horizon.

I didn't know what I was doing anymore, why I was trying. Maybe it wasn't my father who was making me sad at this point, maybe I was just generally sad. Maybe I think too much.

I sighed, my feet scraping against the ground since I lacked the effort to lift them up.

Ashton deserved better than me, he didn't deserve the stress that came with me. And there's the endless question of, why me?

Why would anyone chose me? Or even why did this all happen to me. I had no idea what was going on at this point, all I knew is that I was suffering a great lot.

Trying to be happy seemed so pointless because every drop I ever got of it disappeared as quickly as it came.

But then again, the majority of that happiness came from being with Ashton, how could I ever think of leaving him alone?

Thinking about this was all pointless because I would never have the courage to do half the things I say I would.

While walking down the road I heard the sound of skateboard wheels scrapping across the sidewalk. So I turned and smiled at the figure.

"Kara you seem to be getting better at skateboarding." I said.

"Yeah I'm thinking about taking up figure skating." She said as she slowed down, reaching me.

"Figure skating?"

"Probably not actually. Maybe I'll try stilts or pogo sticks." Kara said. "So, why are you out here? Walking, all alone? Where's Ash?" 

"I don't know, I'd assume he's at home with his mum." I shrugged. 

"Why are you out here?" Kara asked. 

"I was trying to just, think a little." I sighed. "I don't know I simply couldn't function so I needed this." 

"Oh, do you want me to leave then?" Kara asked. "For me to just skate away?" 

"No, I don't." I sighed. "I've done enough thinking for one day." 

"I see, not too good of thinking, huh?" Kara asked. 

"Not good thinking at all." 

"Talk to me." Kara shrugged. 

"Well, I just, I feel like Ashton could do so much better than me." I shrugged. "Like all I am is a walking disaster, Ashton, hell everyone, deserves more than me." 

"Tis tis." Kara shook her head slowly. "Lukey, my dear boy, you are living in the midst of ignorance." 

"Yeah I know what you're thinking and I know what you're going to tell me. 'That's not true, people love you blah blah blah more reassuring words.'" I said in the most girly voice I could pull off. "It's not true Kara." 

"Fine, you don't want reassurance, you want the hard truth." Kara said. "Well Luke, it seems that you're not the only one who thinks that." 

"What do you mean?" 

"Well, Ashton thinks the same way about you." Kara shrugged. "Very rarely do people have a positive outlook on themselves, and even then it's too easy to pick out the negative stuff."

"I know all this." 

"Point being, Luke, everyone has a different outlook on everything." Kara said. "The way your father sees you is not the way Ashton sees you. What one person perceives as beauty is not what another perceives. Works that way with everything especially relationships. Some people are into a rough, hard going, fighting styled relationship. Others are ones that want something soft and gentle. You understand what I'm saying?" 

"Um.." 

"I'm saying that everyone sees everything differently." Kara sighed. "What you think of yourself may not be what Ashton thinks of you and vise versa. That works with virtually anyone and everyone." 

"Why is this suppose to help me?" I asked. 

Kara smiled. "Because it's all in your head." 

"Huh?" 

"What you're thinking is just all in your head, there's no point to it because it makes no difference what you think or what someone else thinks." Kara shrugged. "It's not like all opinions match up." 

"Just in my head? Does that mean I'm going crazy!?" 

Kara sighed. "No, Luke. You're not crazy. You just see things differently then Ashton, and someone may have influence on the way you think. Just the way the world works." 

"You're absolutely right and I hate that you are." I said. 

"I know you do." Kara said and pinched my cheek. "But little Lukey can't always be right now can he?" 

"Get off." I laughed lightly. "I'm not a child you loser." 

"Luke you are a child to me." Kara smiled.  "Because I'm just smarter than you are. Ha ha. Loser!" 

"I called you a loser first!" 

"Guess what?" 

"What?" 

Kara smiled. "I don't give a damn." 

"Sassy are we?" I rolled my eyes. 

"Oh nothing but sassy and wise. That's how I roll. Loser."  Kara smiled. "Anyways, it's getting late. Maybe you should get back to your lover so you can make more children." 

"Kara," I sighed. "We're both guys, children don't come from two males." 

"Okay you can pretend to make more." Kara smiled. 

"So I take it you're going to walk me home again? So I don't have to stand in the dark by myself?" I asked. 

"Precisely!" Kara nodded. "You  hate it when I do it, that's why I do it." 

I rolled my eyes but continued to walk back to Ashton's house with Kara. Careful when passing by my house. I felt nervous but I could not take my eyes off of the house of misery. And when walking by it, I could see a figure in the window, but I couldn't make out the face. However, the curtains pulled shut. Leaving me in a confused state. 

"Okay.." I said quietly when I reached Ashton's house. "Well thanks Kara, bye." 

"Good luck in court!" Kara yelled as she began to skate away. 

"How'd you know I'm going?" I asked.

"Because," Kara turned to me. "I know everything!" 

I smiled and shook my head before walking up the steps. Kara was such an odd girl, like she was smart yet the joking too. 

I needed to be more like that again. 

AUTHOR'S NOTIFICATION

LOL this chapter did not come out as well as I thought it would. 

Oh well, there's always tomorrow. (If anyone just thought of Clarice from Rudolph you're amazing.) 

ANYWHOOZER BOOZER I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY LAWLS. 

Hugs, Kisses, Cuddles and Serenades xX