An Inconvenient Attachment {M.J.}

I wanna fuck you on this desk

A few days later;

"I don't see why you keep ignoring me" he frowned following me into my kitchen as he already forced his way into my house. I sighed as he continued asking me that, I continued to ignore him and started making myself a cup of coffee.

"Chan," he begged trying to grab hold of my hand but I kept moving it "what have I done?" He said quietly.

I just shook my head and laughed "you're seriously asking me that??"
Michael smiled softly "oh, so she can speak?" He said being as sarcastic as he can get.
I rolled my eyes and turned away to walk away but he grabbed me soon enough "Chan I'm sorry, whatever I've done-" he breathed trying to look in my eyes but I kept looking away "I'm sorry" he said gently.

"We need to stay away from each other. You need to stay away from me" I say, sternly, because it's true. He can't keep coming near me like this and being all touchy with me. He has a fucking fiancée. It's like he doesn't realise that.

"Is this because of what I said to you the other day??" He asked cautiously, biting his lip as his eyes roamed all over my body.
I think back to the other day "I don't know what you're on about, Michael. I can't remember our conversation from the other day... because it was just as meaningless as all the other conversations we've had" I say nastily, although I try and bite my tongue from offending him, I poor my hot water out from the kettle and mix the milk, coffee, sugar and water together.

He doesn't answer me so I look up to see a hurt expression "that's how it is then?"
I laugh softly "it's how it always has been" I shrug truthfully putting the spoon down in the sink.

"Right," he mumbled "I'll see you around then" he turned away and walked off.
I rolled my eyes as he walked off, to presumably my front door so he can leave. I sighed and walked out into my back garden with my coffee.

I stood in my garden breathing in nature and appreciating it for what it is.
I start to think about my life... I'm grateful for everything. I'm very well off, my parents own a law firm so I've got money you know? I'm not poor by all means.
I earn an average of $150,673 a year but that changed all the time. And I'm grateful, so grateful. I've got a wonderful family, a beautiful and amazing bestfriend.
I was lucky enough to travel the world with one direction and visit some beautiful places, while spending every day with them and building a bond.. that at the time, was unbreakable. I was lucky enough to be best friends with them, I was lucky enough to experience something they didn't let many people experience. The boys said they always trusted me with everything, they trusted me because I was there from almost day one.
Their first music video, their first album.. that's when our bond was formed. They wasn't really famous then, like they are now. So they knew I wasn't their friend for the fame. It ultimately confirmed it for them when I used to shield myself away from the paps when I used to make them shield me and hurdle around me walking into places or when we was out in public. I just didn't want to be seen by anyone and have my whole life talked about in the media.

I just didn't want that. And the boys made sure that didn't happen. The boys didn't live a normal life, they was world wide famous before some of them was even 21, they wanted something normal in their life, something they didn't have to share with the press, the media and the fans.
I was that normalisation for them. And they loved it.

I think back to how I treated Niall and what I put him through while being so blind to the fact he liked me way more than he was telling me, or anyone for that matter.

I remember meeting his mother and father, such sweet people. They really was. They most probably hate me now, breaking their sons heart. It was never my intention, I never knew he liked me as much as he did.
I frown as I sip on my coffee. I'm such a fucking bitch. I don't deserve nothing good in life. I don't deserve none of it.